[This adds a new dimension of complexity, unforeseen.
So that's the purple tinge to his soul that he saw during their Bonding, something he thought was a mere characteristic of it. (People's souls have colors, that's normal.) His silver ears are more expressive than ever; they fold back flat, a reaction to something unpleasant. No compromise would work to prevent him from moving forward if he was bound to his destiny. Even this kind of plan isn't a perfect solution, after all.
He would have to do away with Emet-Selch somehow, just to realize his ambitions. Even if he managed to subdue him, wouldn't he still be compelled down the path of restoring Zodiark? The first time he was called upon, it required sacrifice. It would likely require the same to do it again, and the events would be sure to unfold similarly. Even Mettaton can see that. So there would be only one choice here, if he wanted to save so many people. It would involve killing just one person, as far as he knows. And whoever else happened to be committed to the same duty.
Where Emet-Selch glances away, Mettaton keeps his sharp gaze trained upon his features steadily, contrasting the zeal with which he speaks of Zodiark to his evident conflict. Truly, what a tragedy. He's dedicated not only to the revival of his people, but to the restoration of a god who once saved his world, short-lived as it was. No wonder such a tired man would press onward despite impossible circumstances, shackled to his duty as he is.
If there's one thing he knows, it's that he doesn't like that vague suggestion where he trails off. Mettaton shakes his head.]
Even if I subdued you... As soon as I relinquished control of you, it seems you'd continue with your plans. Despite everything. Tempered to him as you are.
But I will not kill you, if that's what you're going to ask.
[He doesn't want to, doesn't think he could. His reluctance feels overwhelming... Though he knows the conviction to do so is still within him, if he thought of it as the desire to protect and save. He raises one of his hands and moves it to brush fingers against his cheek gently, even as the Ascian can't look at him.
Who knew that he would meet such troubled people in this place... It's staggering.]
So long as I remain bound to Him, even were He to no longer exist, I would be compelled to create Him anew. To whatever cost.
[It's still not something Emet-Selch can view with any kind of resentment. None of this was Zodiark's fault. Or intention. He couldn't have accounted for a possibility of a world that didn't require His existence. Not when the only other chance of salvation came from the powers inherent to someone from a wholly different star, whose claimed (potential) abilities defied explanation. How could a mere few human souls (plus one monster soul) combined provide more strength than the thousands upon thousands of Amaurotine lives that had fed Zodiark's creation?
For something so impossible, why was he taking it so seriously? But even as a concept, it appealed, and with other hopes taken from him in this place, some unlikely replacement was- congenial. If it weren't for this one detail.]
Tempering has never been undone. Nor is it possible for the soul, once taken, to be claimed by another. But if you were capable of restoring the star to the way it once was, of preventing our original calamity- surely you could also--
[He still recoiled from the thought; he didn't have much choice but to do so. But this was just discussion. It was fine; it wasn't as though this was any actual threat to Zodiark. It was fine to wonder what it would be like; Emet-Selch had never given his thoughts much question after the tempering. He knew his personality remained the same, his love for his people was the same- adoration for a worthy god had just become part of that. Even were that tie removed, he couldn't imagine what it would feel like, after this long.
The touch to his face grounds him, very slightly. Emet-Selch looks up to Mettaton, leans into his hand. It's not hope in his expression, but something adjacent, something desperate and fragile and guilty.]
If you won't kill me- surely you could also restore my soul to the way it was. Temper me in His place, if you care to- it doesn't matter. So long as my people are saved... whatever happens to me is inconsequential.
[Or were there limitations, even to this insane sort of godhood?]
[Could he alter somebody's soul like that? Nothing else seems to make Mettaton doubt what he might be capable of doing based on mere intuition and a sense of decisive presumption of what it means to be a god (and anything he failed at should be enhanced with the introduction of yet more souls: it scaled, though he disliked the thought), until this thought. Even with some consideration, he's still not sure, especially with regards to Emet-Selch's tempering. But even taking one soul should be able to inform his understanding of surmounting power... As if it could happen in Geardagas, except by some fluke.
Even with his doubt, one look at Emet-Selch's expression is contagious. The thought of staking claim to another's soul or even releasing it from such terms feels foreign to him (though , though he wonders if it were possible to influence it in such a state after all... But he wants it to be possible. To sate him even somewhat, Mettaton presses all of his palm to his cheek.
His words are carried on a slow tempo, like he's trying to decide what his next move would be in a game unlikely to happen.]
... Yes. You might be right, darling... If I were capable of turning back time itself, why couldn't I? Restore your soul, to a state before claim.
[Would he lose his memories? ...A lot of thoughts for something that isn't happening, and has a slim likelihood of becoming an opportunity. This whole part feels like the most difficult aspect of it for some reason.
He strokes his cheek with a thumb, terribly open in his affection as he is.]
The way I see it... If I can think of the way to do it, it should be possible. I'll consider it. In case the opportunity strikes. I'll simply have to wait for that, and take it... Well. If we were afforded such an opportunity.
[Emet-Selch is not sure why he feels oddly pensive, waiting for Mettaton's answer. As if this were something that could happen. That their powers would, however briefly, return, that Mettaton could do as he claimed. But was it any less likely than being brought here, stripped of ability in the first place?
Was it any worse of a hope than returning home with his memories intact, so that he could find some other path himself? He didn't think so. What was one more impossible option? He couldn't truly believe in it, much less expect it, and being offered some concept of a solution hurt a little, in the realization that a return to the past is what he wanted after all. It shouldn't have come as any surprise; he'd been living in that time ever since it ended.
So many hypotheticals, possibilities of possibilities, no certainty in sight. But it was a pleasing delusion, wasn't it? He nudges that bit more against Mettaton's hand, soothed a little by the small motion of it.]
I think you've veered from compromise into an attempt at an answer, but... even if it's for the sake of humanity- if this worked, I doubt I could ever express the full measure of gratitude such an act would deserve.
[Standing up, the Ascian moves to wrap both arms around Mettaton, pulling him into a tight embrace, pressing the side of his face firmly against his. He could be grateful for the idea, even the knowledge that Mettaton would apparently be willing to try, would the chance come about. It's more concern than anyone else had shown his people, to save them along with the younger races.]
...Have you ever seen this opportunity for godhood come about?
[Or was this all just going off of rumor and legend?]
[Ears standing perfectly straight in alertness, the Puca allows him to rise, appearing perhaps a touch surprised. It's quick to dissolve into warmth again and he reciprocates the embrace, rubbing his cheek against the other man's on habit. Mettaton knows that when he first heard of Emet-Selch's ambitions and his track record already, his desire to do something for a humanity not even his own was intense: were he given the chance then, he would have immediately stopped the Ascian without further question. But time's an interesting force, and the longer he thought on it, the closer he grew to his Bonded, the more he felt that he deserved peace.
To learn that there was more yet to the reason he fought for the restoration of his people by any means in the form of a god's control over his very soul... If anything, he feels breaking such a Temper would take priority. He's just witnessed it getting in the way of his very own ambitions, after all, and every time Emet-Selch describes his people, he can feel his love for them. It affects him each time. It even struck him to read Emet-Selch's account of the cause for Zodiark's creation due to the detail of it all. With such detail must come some memory...
Mettaton holds him with equal tightness. He smiles, a touch rueful at Emet-Selch's state.]
Knowing what I know now, I doubt a compromise would truly help. If even redefining time would be met with such resistance. Humanity doesn't deserve to die. But the Amaurotine didn't, either. Given even the chance... I'll have to impress you now, won't I?
[Impressing isn't the name of the game here, but Mettaton's smile grows lighter at the remark. Mettaton pauses for a few moments, trying to make sense of shambled memory.]
No...? [The most uncertain thing he has ever said.] ... We were trapped Underground, as I told you. No hope for escape, though we knew if one of us took seven souls to became a god... Let's just say I have my suspicions, though I don't know who did it. Everybody was out cold. And once we came to, everything was made right! No conflict, no barrier, no more death. And, the human souls we'd collected had vanished! It was the best impossible outcome.
[Though the Ascian would still argue that humanity deserved nothing at all, he does manage to not say so. Which probably should count as some sort of progress, or at least recognition that not all of his anti-mortal sentiments needed to be shared at all times. Especially not when Mettaton seemed so willing to save (two) peoples that weren't his own.
It's not something Emet-Selch would've done, even had he access to that sort of power. Mortals were vermin, regardless of world, and while he might be sympathetic to the plight of those more similar to himself- it wouldn't be to the point of interfering. Even with this demonstration of generosity from another.
It was hard enough for the Ascian to want to look after individuals who were not of his own people; extending that to a group was likely beyond him.]
I won't claim that my expectations aren't considerable... but though it weren't by intent, I seem to have found a fairly remarkable Bondmate....
[Though his grip relaxes a little, Emet-Selch doesn't let go, leaning against him. There were a lot of emotions to (fail to) process, and Mettaton's nearness helped somewhat.]
But that all sounds like a rather unlikely scenario.... [There's a note of disbelief in his tone; not at Mettaton's account, but at the idea of it at all.] When you say there was no conflict- does that mean humanity was rewritten to no longer fear you?
[He couldn't see what else would keep the monsters from being sealed away again. There were eras of peace; even the Ascian could admit to that much. But they always ended. The lessons learned by one generation were not carried to the next. That was one of the worst of their flaws.]
[Mettaton allows him to lean against him, wrapping his arms further around his figure with less tightness, but with more security. Being remarkable for an innate power of his doesn't stroke his ego as much as being remarkable for his pursuits and actions, so he doesn't revel in it so much as dedicate himself more firmly to this course of action. He makes sure to make this known with a smirk, though he still has his cheek against Emet-Selch's. His voice is flirtatious and playful.]
I'll give you an abundance reasons to find me remarkable down the line, sweetheart.
[...Is there any way to be more remarkable than fixing like, everything? Mettaton seems to think so. He considers, at least, that his remarkability is from his tenacity and desire to take action, which he'll accept more readily than a compliment to his being.
Mettaton nods at his comment of unlikeliness. He certainly thinks so, especially after arriving in Aefenglom. But he considers more carefully his own phrasing from before and shakes his head shortly, as much as being against Emet-Selch would permit.]
Hm... No. What I meant was that I expected monsters... to completely eradicate humanity, upon absorption of the souls! Based on the fact that we had a human with us, they seemed to be untouched. Much to my delight. As for their attitude toward us, who knows? I never did see the sun before arriving here, much less all of humanity.
[Aefenglom as a whole is Mettaton's first taste of humanity beyond a screen, and a single day spent with an unfortunate kid. It's very possible that humans would respond poorly to their release, but Mettaton's optimistic. He taps his finger thoughtfully against Emet-Selch's body before rubbing his fingers against him, absentminded.]
Besides. I don't know how it all happened, since whoever took the souls only had six. Not seven... That's how many we need, after all. I've thought about it since, and it doesn't make sense. Truly unlikely. And provoking... Unless they managed the impossible, and took the souls of monsters. But what's impossibility, right?
[Emet-Selch can well accept that there was less satisfaction to be had in being praised for an inherent trait, compared to some deliberate, developed skill. Innate characteristics were good (and Emet-Selch certainly scorned those who lacked the ones he valued, i.e, those sundered peoples), but perhaps not a point of pride in itself.
That his words already encompassed more than the potential for godhood, the Ascian decides not to clarify. If Mettaton wanted to provide him with more reasons to appreciate him, Emet-Selch wasn't about to deny him the opportunity. So he only hums in reply, a mix of amusement and acknowledgement, nestling a degree further against his body, encouraged by that casual rubbing, even as he thinks on his answer.]
What's impossibility, indeed.... So, there's nothing preventing humanity from turning against you once more in future. I'd keep a spare god or two around, if I were you, against that inevitability.
[If all it took was seven (or possibly six?), souls for one divinity, they could surely create a whole bunch without anyone really noticing. There were plenty of mortals, insignificant and fragile; killing a few handfuls would hardly put a dent in their population.
Because in the Ascian's experience... that peace would come crashing down sooner rather than later. No matter how miraculous and perfect Mettaton made it sound.
Which only leads him back to one question, and Emet-Selch tilts his head back enough to regard Mettaton's face as he asks it.]
--Why do you care so much for humanity? They feared your people, trapped them in the dark- and there's nothing to assume they won't plunge you back there again. By your own admission you've had little contact with humanity before now- and you've since experienced the depths they will go to, in their ignorance and self-absorption. That potential for cruelty they all carry within them.
Why do you think they're worth anything at all?
[Okay he can't always restrain his feelings about mortals.]
[Humanity would know: most all monsters change form drastically upon the absorption of souls, their lack of physicality affected by the process. Only one with a physical form would be able to take a soul without notice... Though Mettaton can't testify to how difficult it might be to keep one among their ranks. To him, it couldn't be hard... But he lacks some crucial information about a monster's brand of godhood that complicates matters significantly. Emet-Selch was right to suspect that there should be some kind of catch, in reality. To take a soul, especially a powerful one, and to think that it would have no will to dominate the host, might very well be foolish.
This isn't a question that surprises him too much, since he's been asked it before while here. He never thought anybody would, but he supposes it makes sense. Even monsters would ask him, had they known his candid view on humanity. He expects that Emet-Selch would describe them with such distaste, but there's no way he hates them as much as he suggests. He wouldn't tolerate them at all if he truly despised them. Mettaton has decided that his is a circumstantial dissatisfaction with them, and it makes sense.
The robot smiles, eye bright. He seems to look off as he speaks to his love of humanity, like it's something beyond him.]
I don't fault them for their fear. If they had taken the time to understand us, maybe they would have felt differently, and this could be that opportunity. I'm of the belief that it's that same capacity for cruelty that speaks to the depths they have for empathy. ...Monsters always said that humans lack compassion and love, but I disagree. Just because theirs is difficult to earn doesn't mean they don't have it! And every human I've met here has proven me right. Aren't they strange? You can never predict what they'll do next... They defy expectation. More often than not, I find that they're kind, not cruel.
[He grips onto Emet-Selch, taken by his own adoration for humankind. He rolls his eyes when Alphys goes off about anime, but here's Mettaton, going off about humanity.]
Don't get me started on human culture. They come up with all sorts of creative, beautiful, and frivolous things, then convince each other that they need it! And. Have you seen them perform?? Surely, living among them, you have. Their expressiveness... Their passion...! They arrest me. And maybe... I see myself in them. Monsters didn't have performance like that before me, and I learned about it... from humans!
[when you like humans because they say you need a 78th kitchen appliance, wear glitter on camera, and like movies you found in the dump
But there's another thing. Mettaton's starry-eyed zeal simmers down as he remembers all of the non-human individuals here in Aefenglom, and how much they're so much the same. He refocuses on Emet-Selch with a weak smile: even though he has an obvious distaste for them that he can't respect at all, he's seen a lot of the Ascian for himself that leads him to along a string of realization.]
...In living here for all these months, I've come to realize something, however. I was wrong. It's not just humans who amaze me with their depths. I feel as though everyone I meet surprises me. Such intensity and complexity hidden underneath unshakeable composure...
[As he listens in silence, it struck Emet-Selch as an incredibly naive view of the world. Whether it was from ignorance or unshakable optimism, he wasn't sure. To think humans were capable of learning, of remembering anything of import- that their capacity for cruelty meant anything beyond that. That any positive trait could possibly make up for their far more numerous flaws. The very existence of petty selfishness ruined them, tainted even the limited 'good' they could occasionally achieve.]
How strange... from being here I've come to the opposite conclusion.
[Emet-Selch doesn't take a scornful or mocking tone, at least, though he originally would have, with Mettaton. Instead it's- tired. Nearly regretful. His hands dig into him a little, in return.
He'd hoped in them before. Repeatedly. Even up through the present era, the Ascian still, ever more rarely, found himself... did it even qualify as hope, any more? It was too delicate for that, the sort of thought that if he noticed himself having it, vanished into nothing. He'd given them so many chances, and they'd failed him each time; what was even left to have hope for?]
I believed the flaws I found in humanity to be a result of the broken condition of their souls. But here, I have no reason to think that anyone apart from the unfortunates from my star have souls that are anything but complete. And yet their behavior is much the same; mortality itself is the issue. You say they defy expectation... I would say they are utterly predictable, falling to their base natures at the slightest whim.
[Essentially, it wasn't only the sundered races that were beneath him- it was everyone. His people had been some strange amazing outlier of perfection, a concept unknown to anyone he'd come across.]
Cultural changes aside, the core of them is alike. Their expressions of cruelty, their passion for developing ever more vicious torments. The distrust of the unfamiliar, how quickly they turn to violence. The cries for retribution against said violence, as though that solves anything at all.
[It's said with a bitter echo of a smile, and his voice has a strained quality to it.]
See? It does nothing but repeat. If this is your first time through the cycle, 'tis no wonder you're caught up in their appearance of potential. Their occasional charms, their transitory creations. But in the end... what value is there in anything that cannot last? The only depth they possess is their capacity for limitless pain.
[With an ever souring expression that deepens into a frown, Mettaton listens, though on multiple occasions he almost appears as though he wants to interrupt... But he doesn't. His frown shifts from angry to disappointed, his listening habits poor and pseudo-listening at best: the star prepares a defensive retort instead of listening, at first. It's a miracle that he doesn't pull away in his impatience, but for some reason, the sensation of Emet-Selch's grip keeps him. However, Mettaton reciprocates in no fashion.
But it's around the point where Emet-Selch mentions their like core, their expressions of cruelty, their distrust of the unfamiliar where he reminds himself to try actually listening, even if he disagreed.
And watch that frown shift from anger to disappointment, then evolve into worry when Emet-Selch stops being somebody who is attacking his ideals, and instead somebody jaded who has lived among people long enough to have developed such a view. And, why? So he worries. Their experiences with the same people must be so different if he ever thought that the actions of their fellow Mirrorbound were predictable or unkind. Even if a good portion of even his fellow Mirrorbound treated him to denial of personhood and fear, that didn't make them bad people. That made them someone to appeal to and reach out for.
Mettaton glances away, thinking about the humans who indulged in senseless cruelty. He hadn't ruminated on it much, because it hurt him to think about... The experience with the Rathmores hits him full force, perhaps with even more rawness than being there ever did, more than even when he reflected upon it with Alphys. She didn't experience being taken apart and commented upon like meat or, more accurately in his case, like an example to be made of. Emet-Selch did, and this must be the kind of thing he means when he talks about their capacity for cruelty, a cruelty Mettaton had never considered. And of all stupid, stupid things he thinks about that coward of a man who pretzelled himself frustratingly under a sink to avoid having to interact with Mettaton, accusing him of being a senseless killing machine without basis. Interacting with people has been delightful, but the frustrations sobering, at times.
Mettaton begrudgingly rests his forehead against Emet-Selch's shoulder, finding the added relief of support to be welcome. He doesn't sound like he's mocking him.]
...Humans are scared of monsters. They're scared of ghosts. And... did you know they're also terribly scared of robots? I can't blame them, even still...
[Mettaton is naive and ignorant, optimistic and hopeful, placing humanity on a pedestal like one might do to an idol. Humanity's fear is the root of these poor reactions, and he thought he could bypass it by having the figure of one. The idol would never allow for their fear to color his view: it makes perfect sense.
And even thinking about them in such a light — fleeting, senselessly cruel, distrusting, fearful, their capacity to hurt — he doesn't doubt his love for humanity.]
Anyway. I don't see how you're so different from them. What do you think sets you apart from them...? Really. I don't see what I'm supposed to be disappointed in. Because you feared me and distrusted me just like they do. Your kindness is selective, but you are so much that, and never cruel. Most of humanity isn't either, and their potential is remarkable. And I... found that I could love you just like I love them.
...Did you ever love humanity, Hades? Or have you always disliked them, or waited for them to prove themselves worth loving? What would earn your approval...?
[As he noted that deepening frown, that clear disapproval- Emet-Selch had felt a cold sort of justification. He'd had this sort of conversation before with the Exarch, an attack and defense on the virtues of humanity, pretenses of politeness fading into ever more personally aimed barbs. That was how this manner of discussion always went, regardless of any initial attempt towards civility.
So when that expression, that reaction changes, Emet-Selch is a bit at a loss, feeling a mix of surprise and confusion at hearing any sort of concession towards humanity's fearful condition. It makes it easier for him to listen in turn, rather than seek out something to be insulted by and lash out at it.]
If you understand what they'll do in their fear, why--
[He cuts himself off with a sigh, a vaguely frustrated sound.]
Of course I have all the same emotions that they do. [And he frowns, glancing aside towards the blank walls of his room, trying to not find offense at being compared to mortals. Trying to decide how to explain the difference.] In the true world, there was no need for fear or mistrust. Were you to appear in Amaurot as you are, you would be welcomed without reservation. Anything I display now, I've learned.
[He's... not at all sure how to react at being told of being loved, alongside humanity. It- hurt, a little. And with Mettaton's head on his shoulder, Emet-Selch reaches up to slowly stroke at his hair. That unabashed (and undeserved) love for humanity was something he could almost respect, if it weren't for its target. It reminded him the smallest bit of his own people, who'd never had to learn distrust.]
How could I ever love them, considering what they're capable of? Yet- that first generation, immediately after the sundering... you could see it in their eyes, sometimes. Moments of recognition, recollection- fading dreams of a world that they would never behold again. No- perhaps I loved them still. I despaired for what they had been rendered into, but I knew not what all that entailed. What all they had become.
If I were to ever accept them, humanity would have to move beyond what they currently are. Even then- I don't know. It would be difficult.
[The qualifier was among humanity's many chaotic traits. Their transience, their forgetfulness, their capacity to hurt, their fearfulness. But in listening to Emet-Selch just now, he paid special focus to their loss of remembrance. How isolated he must have felt. They were all a product of his original people, against all odds. That they could no longer recall what he could.
Truth be told, Mettaton's adoration for humanity is also rooted in a very selfish want: an audience greater than he'd ever had. Monsterkind was cramped up in a small space, limiting how they could flourish as a population, and humanity promised to be vast: millions, billions. There's no way Emet-Selch could change his view on a population so pivotal to his development, but perhaps the same could be said for him. His Bonded holds views that run deep and personal.
Mettaton is comforted by the Ascian's hand against his hair, and he shifts his head closer to his neck. Disagreeing about humanity's worth while remaining close to the person with a view his polar opposite... He wasn't directly threatening them, not now. He even admitted himself that he'd have no reason to,here. Perhaps they could both afford to see the other's perspective.]
It seems I'm your opposite again, gorgeous. What a surprise. I hope for them, not despair for them. But... I don't hold any expectations for them, as you do. I don't think it's a trait exclusive to humanity, to be distrustful or quick to judge. They're not perfect, and I love them for it. But just as you learned from humanity some of these traits, they're capable of learning, too.
[And apparently they hadn't done enough of it in the many thousands of years Emet-Selch has been around. He's aware of what he's saying, but Mettaton lacks anything else. Humanity is fine as it is, even in its flaws. That's why he knows how they could respond to their fear, but chooses to make peace with it. Mettaton finally squeezes him back with his hands after having gone cold on him before.]
...When I first learned of your history, I thought to myself that I would do whatever it took to stop you. But the more I understand, the more I don't want to do that. I want you to fulfill your ambitions. What a conflict... I know I'm the picture of perfection, but, well. I have my whims. ...You must have been very lonely.
[Feeling his face near his neck, Emet-Selch tilts his head slightly, permitting the robot more access, fingers still slowly threading through Mettaton's hair. It remained strange, still, for it to be at all comfortable, much less comforting; the Ascian knew they would never convince one another of their ideals. In most things, they seemed to be absolutely diametrically opposed.
An opposition that held no consequence here, beyond the emotions involved in the debating of ethics. Perhaps such lack of result could incur tolerance, he supposed, but this was more than that. An effect of the Bond? Or some acceptance that genuinely held convictions- and that they were convictions, not casually held thoughts or preferences- were something that could be understood, if not agreed with?
Not that the Ascian hadn't scorned honest conviction before, but circumstances here were quite unusual. With no one to save, no gods to revive- no powers, only stories of a doomed future awaiting him, the situation had never been more unstable. He couldn't change his perspective, his experience, but hearing another's was less of an existential threat.
Emet-Selch wondered distantly if this was another weakness of his own; he didn't think any other Ascian would've allowed even this much.]
If one can manage it, not having expectations is only for the best. Fewer disappointments that way. Believing in mortals is the path to ruin, or at the very least, endless frustration. ...Or perhaps you would continue to enjoy their transience, regardless. Ever a new audience, I suppose- so long as you don't tire of performance, you'll never run out of those seeking diversion.
[This is probably the closest Emet-Selch has ever come to accepting or understanding a possible reason for preferring humanity as it is. Even if it was something he inherently disagreed with, the Ascian could see why someone with a personality type like Mettaton's might enjoy those aspects, while being less troubled by the negatives. If the meaning he found in life was to be an idol- an endlessly respawning sea of admirers could only appeal.
Even though it wasn't the sort of thing Emet-Selch would ever be able to believe in himself (and certainly wasn't a good enough reason to spare any lives), it was a better argument than the usual 'they just have meaning, somehow.']
Well... 'tis safe to support my ambitions here. There's naught I can do for them now, and with death awaiting my return, you may offer whatever sympathies you like, to no mortal consequence. --Still, it's heartening to know at least one person isn't wholly devoted to my demise.
[He's not sure what to say about being lonely. It was absolutely true, a core feature of his underlying motivation. His fingers in Mettaton's hair hesitate at the statement; his other arm tightens around him. Instead, he asks:]
--Being immortal, do you think you'll ever become lonely, surrounded by humanity? Or is evanescent adoration enough...?
[Describing his feelings on their transience as "enjoyment" doesn't sit right with Mettaton, but it's not as though he resents them for it. He finds death and all of its monstrous approximations to be sad, a regrettable part of life for most people. Thankfully for him, he's never had a close contact who passed on, but it's bound to happen. He hardly thought of people as individual things with beginning and end, though it's not like he never considered their individual plights, either; but when you're someone who takes a position high up, everybody below has a sense of insignificance, intentional or not.
Being permitted the "safety" of sympathizing with Emet-Selch, Mettaton smirks and deliberately brings his body closer. He hums a laugh.]
Come on. I doubt many are devoted to your demise, darling... For what good that does. Which isn't much. But it's the sentiment that counts... Or, lack thereof.
[He's thinking about Mira. There's no way she wanted him dead, Emet-Selch, the man himself. She's too fond of him, and with all of Emet-Selch's Bonds to these Warriors, he doubts they feel so strongly about killing him.
He feels the pause, but more than that, he notes the tightening of his arm. It feels nice, and he returns the gesture. That's the feeling he gets from him, he realizes. It's unfathomable loneliness wherever there's want and need. One of his hands moves from his shoulder to trace a slow line across the Ascian's back, one that will follow his shoulder blade before uniting with his spine and tracing further south.
Emet-Selch's bouncing Mettaton's observation back at him in the form of a question doesn't cause the robot to freeze, but it does cause him to slow. Yes, the love of his fans has been plenty. But he's realized that it caused him to place even greater distance between himself and all others, and... The Puca has some thoughts. He places a soft kiss against Emet-Selch's clavicle.]
My fans will always remain my fans, and I... to them, just with in reach. It's as the saying goes. It's lonely, being at the top!! I can't accept every proposal for my hand I receive! Even if my goal is always to please my fans, however possible. ... I hadn't thought about it. Becoming lonely. I'm always surrounded by adorers... And I could see myself being content that way.
[But here he stands in the company of someone he's found comfort with, and just before arriving here, he found himself breaking his routine for companionship. He remains pressed to his skin.]
But I realized something. I've been missing... companionship. I forwent it for long enough that I'd forgotten what it's like. To share myself with someone else, without restraint. ...If my only option was humanity, it's not impossible to find somebody I could keep close. I should think that I would cherish them in their life, and remember them fondly thereafter. It's a bit... It's bittersweet. But it would beat being idolized, having so many to cherish in return, yet lacking someone of significance to adore...
[This sentiment pricks him a lot more than it ever has, and maybe becoming the company-favoring Puca is slightly responsible for it. But the heartache he feels is also in part due to his penchant for ignoring the troublesome aspects of existence: how could he ever fear loneliness if he never acknowledged it? Emet-Selch, with his incredibly different perspective on things, forces Mettaton to consider that which he doesn't allow himself.
From his collar bone, Mettaton places another kiss further up his throat — just barely, the first hint that he'll kiss all the way up. Before he can advance, he remains against Emet-Selch's neck for a moment more.]
Haha. Listen to me. Of course my fans are enough. But... I like this. A lot.
[Emet-Selch both viewed death very casually, and very seriously; in either case, it was ever-present in his life. It always had been. With a stronger-than-normal connection to the underworld, the constant witnessing of souls drifting between one state to another, he couldn't have escaped thinking about it even if he wanted to.
And he only shakes his head a little- barely perceptible at all, not wanting to disturb Mettaton's presence at his neck- at the idea that few were devoted to his death. He could agree that- those Warriors at least- would not want to kill him. Nor did Emet-Selch want to kill them. But they still would, and he still would, and it all amounted to much the same result, in the end.
He focuses instead on the trailing of Mettaton's hands, the beginning of their slow path down his back, the degree more of pressure of his form against his. It still wasn't the warmth or softness of a normal body, but that mattered no more to him now than it had before. At the small kiss, he stills, finding his eyes closing, to better focus on the sensation, and the sound of Mettaton's voice.
A voice which brings an edge of irritation at the start of his reply, finding it unerringly... Mettaton-esque. The idol was quite good at that, unsurprisingly.
But when he goes into the rest of his answer, the annoyance fades back into a deeper melancholy. Shifting his arms, Emet-Selch wraps both of them around Mettaton again, not tightly, but firmly. His fingers dig in with more pressure, as though limiting his emotional intensity to one thing, as though he could control it that way.]
--that is the greatest flaw to humanity, their inherent fragility. Even when you've found one worth knowing, worth attachment, they'll leave you behind through no intention of their own. How often can you bear to repeat that? Until you can no longer stomach the idea of losing yet another piece of yourself in return for a few moments of company? And yet...
[How could there be a yet? There wasn't, he knew this, but--]
Solitude... well, let's say it doesn't come recommended.
[And so he was here, still; his fingers dig in yet harder. His voice remains even.]
[His hands stall mid-back. Ever the bearer of bad news, Emet-Selch is.
It isn't as though Mettaton hadn't already known. He's had his fair share of conversations with Mirrorbound who refuse outright to foster meaningful connections, so on their guard that they can't stomach the pain of loss in exchange for the formation of memory. And Mettaton didn't have any reason to anticipate pain, not really.
This thought makes him feel that, somewhat. It's a rush, heavy and light both at once. The heaviness is beyond him, something that permeates his mood; light, because of the thought that something could make him feel such potency that it dizzies him. He can feel Emet-Selch's fingertips gripping into him, and it only serves to intensify the feeling.
The intensity must be contagious, if he weren't feeling it for himself to begin with. Being in Emet-Selch's presence does that to him.]
Yes... It is. ...Good thing we're living it, at present. I want to relish it.
[He moves up and places another kiss to his neck, both firm yet gentle.]
... And I'm willing to give a piece of myself to this. ...You'll let me take from you in turn, I hope. I want to have you.
[One of his hands remains against Emet-Selch's spine, pressing with more urgency there, while the other moves forward to grace against his chest. Mettaton pulls from his neck, body still otherwise flush to his Bonded's as he stares down upon him with an easygoing smile.]
[Negative thoughts are the one thing Emet-Selch will never run out of.]
The present....
[Had he ever lived in it? Not since that time before the disaster, when every day had been much the same, the sort of thing that had felt as though it could stretch on forever. Not that he'd felt contentment, much less happiness even then, and he only appreciated what he'd had once it had been lost. But that was the way of things, wasn't it?
Unease, wariness, perpetual longing. The kiss to his neck both soothed and increased those feelings. Forcing his hands to relax, the Ascian smooths them over Mettaton's back, as though trying to reassure himself further.]
You're asking a lot. It's quite presumptuous, honestly....
[But what did he have in this world? Nothing would ever supplant his people, even if they weren't present in any form. Though his eyes flicker open again, the Ascian's gaze drifts to the side, unseeing. What was the point in trusting someone to that degree, knowing there was no permanence in it? On the other hand- if memory and experience were cursed to remain here, what did he have to lose? It wasn't as though he could bring any more loss back with him.
It wasn't as though he hadn't already been quite vulnerable with Mettaton, but it was one thing to do so on instinct or impulse, and another to be made conscious of it.
...Why did he feel more hopeless at the thought of succeeding? As though resigning himself to a worse fate. What a terrible thing, emotions were...]
I doubt I have anything left to take. [Emet-Selch admits, words slow, as though each one took effort, drained him that little bit more. Looking back up to Mettaton finally, he appears cautious, trying to ignore the lure of his presence, the hand to his chest, the way his back tensed underneath the fingers digging into his spine. The way he wanted to press closer still. It felt like being coaxed off a cliff, being convinced that it was better to break himself again on the rocks below.] Perhaps- over time... if I can dredge something up--
[He makes a small, breathless noise, half-pained, half-amused.]
That's not much of a promise, is it? Or reward. Whatever you scrape off of me, it's not going to be pleasant.
[He smirks, knowing that he's asking a lot. Presumptuous, even, which is confirmed by the Ascian. But he likes that. Why wouldn't a star think he could simply take a piece of somebody else for himself?
It almost surprises him to hear that Emet-Selch didn't figure himself as one with anything to take, when he sees so much he'd be delighted to have: the look of tenderness that goes guarded behind sharp eyes, the sounds he makes when kisses him beyond sense, and the way he looks when Mettaton can tell that he's found something of interest to occupy his attentions.
The hand over Emet-Selch's heart moves up to admire his features, fingers stroking the angle of his jaw, the softness of his cheek, and... his thumb freezes at the outer corner of Emet-Selch's eye, recalling that the yellow is truly his.]
To you. But I can't think of a thing less pleasant than something I want, Hades, darling. And if that something is you...
[Crystal, diamond, gold, all things he's found himself arrested by even more than usual since transforming, and this feels more enticing, like having a piece of his very soul. The robot leans on to press a kiss to Emet-Selch's lips, deliberate and covetous in how he captures the other man's lower lip between his, willing to take as much as Emet-Selch has available.
In speaking again, he does it against his Bonded's lips]
And... I think I've already taken from you, besides. But I'll never turn down the offer for more... As much as you have available to me. Ephemeral as our arrangement's made to be... I couldn't possibly forget it.
[A thought occurs to him. He didn't come here anticipating that he'd bed Emet-Selch, no, but he also doesn't know if he should be standing on that leg of his. How slow to people heal, anyway? How quickly? The hand against Emet-Selch's spine moves further south, suddenly, veering off to the side so as to rest firmly against the hip of his right leg.
He gives him a gentle squeeze, appreciating the give of tissue around the back of Emet-Selch's hip. There's even a little push in the direction of his bed, at least so that he can seat him there.]
[That confidence was appealing, even when it annoyed. And that specific sort of emotional forthrightness- he could respect that and respond to it, even when it overwhelmed. That openness about what he desired was something Emet-Selch almost envied. The ability to live in the present, as though that were something worth doing....
As a single scratch could invite infection, so too did affection fester. Why should a simple touch to his face, feeling the path Mettaton's fingers walked with unnatural clarity, mean anything at all? Once the shell of indifference and apathy was gone, he had a weakness to attention like that. The Ascian was a sentimental sort.
The curse of the Bond was knowing it was genuine; this wasn't some trick or ploy; even if it were meaningless, everything Mettaton was offering was real. And Emet-Selch is unnerved anew at how much he did want that, to claim those feelings as though he had any right to them.
The kiss comes as something of an inevitability, but no worse for being anticipated. As he leans into it with the smallest of sighs, he feels his lip caught, the sense of deliberation and care in the other man's gestures. And that it took no effort at all for Emet-Selch to affix his attention on him, to respond in kind. To trail his tongue along Mettaton's lower lip before he replies.]
...I suppose you have, at that.
[He couldn't have been so open with him, before or now, without losing something in the process. Without being taken from. Because that's what it was, wasn't it- inviting loss, and hurt, to be carved up that little bit more for the sake of some temporary solace. Even the idea of being remembered sends a pang through him, a whisper of unhappy tension. How cruel, to offer something so impossible, yet so wanted....
His leg was improving by degrees, but even had it been completely well, Emet-Selch wouldn't have reacted otherwise to that squeeze to his hip, its suggested direction. Without letting himself be pulled from Mettaton's lips, he edges backward until he feels the back of his legs hit the side of his bed. Even then he hesitates to move from him, sitting down and half-trying to pull him with, somehow. Hands skimming along Mettaton's arms, his murmur has a harsher note to it.]
If so, you had better take everything, then. I despise half-measures.
[Being practically dragged down with him is wholly expected and entirely not, and Mettaton's brow quirks in time with the corner of his smile. ...And he's going to make it work, too.
Instead of sitting by his side, the Puca slides a knee at either side of Emet-Selch's hips, at first resulting in Emet-Selch being even with his torso. But he bends at the waist and curves his back, stroking his hands down Emet-Selch's hair and settling them on either side of his neck with a gentle grip. He brings their faces close, his long ears leaning forward in interest for his Bondmate, who he feels so taken by, so much more than he ever thought possible. It's inspiring: it enhances his every sense, the sheer feeling alone, as if developing them for real wasn't enough. He can feel clearer than ever the depth of Emet-Selch's feelings as though he's above their surface, all too aware of how his Bonded's conflicted emotions ran heavy.
For now, at least, he can tell where he ends and Emet-Selch begins. Mettaton himself feels alive, electric, a sort of restless energy akin to butterflies, and... acknowledged. Recognized, beyond just his desires. But on that note, to take everything from his Bonded... What would that leave behind? He wants to find out, but more than that, he wants, pure and simple.
When might they start feeling each other? That's been a trend, hasn't it? It turns out that Bonds either develop faster than Mettaton anticipated, or theirs was a peculiar connection. And how severe would it develop? It's exciting enough to make him shiver, while being equally dreadful.
The edge of Emet-Selch's voice causes him to lose his words, and he closes his eye in a breathless sigh.]
Demanding, are we...? You'll be pleased to know. I don't settle for second best... and I don't leave things half-finished.
[His hands on either side of his neck, Mettaton eagerly steals him up in a kiss, never anything but the full extent of his desire. His fingers press into the back of Emet-Selch's neck, his libidinous nature stoked so quickly that it's enough to make him feel like the past minutes were spent in aching tension, as though he's wanted him all along. His mind starts conjuring up the ways he wants Emet-Selch, both possible and impossible — impossible always being the ways he can't take him for himself.
Deeply frustrating, but he'll put it all aside to focus on this. Right now, as he pushes his tongue between lips, appreciating their softness and his Bonded's warmth, though he's perhaps warmer yet. It's hard to beat out a machine with temperatures that beat out feverish.]
[There's a low, pleased-sounding hum from the Ascian at the choice of Mettaton's position, the touch of his hands, the nearness of his face- taking in everything that he could of him. And Emet-Selch sank down willingly into that feeling, as though he could bury himself under the weight of it, and use it to retreat from the rest of the world.
Mettaton's words, his voice, send a rush of heat running through him, a sense of satisfaction with it. Even though Emet-Selch expected nothing else by this point, it seemed that neither of them were the sort to do anything by halves. Even in gentleness there was intensity, and he had a similar thought as to their Bond; there was still much further it could go, and what would that feel like, considering the strength of everything already?
Would it even be possible to hold back, if he tried? He was either giving himself to this, to him, or he was not; there was no partial answer.
And he remained surprised at how quickly, how easily his body responded to Mettaton's advances- at his nearness alone, even. Emet-Selch's interest had ever been limited, further dampened by depression and smothered by lethargy. Perhaps it was the directness, or openness of this connection- that yearning for emotional closeness finding some physical avenue for expression. Whatever the cause, Mettaton provoked it so thoroughly that the sudden intensity of that want has him lightheaded and completely hard.
It wasn't a normal warmth, but he'd take it, lips parting to take the other's tongue, sliding his own back against Mettaton's with a stifled noise, a quick breath. Even if it reached a point of burning, Emet-Selch doubted that he'd have an easy time pulling away. His hand moves up to Mettaton's face, his thumb grazing the corner of the other's lips where their mouths met, the tips of his fingers trailing over the idol's cheek.
Though it's gently that his other hand rubs along Mettaton's hip, gently that he cups his face and moans softly into their kiss, it all belied his own frustrated want. Though the Ascian had begun his studies for transfiguration, he was still a beginner; there was nothing he could do for them yet. It was hard not to give voice to that desire, to swallow back all the ways he wanted to claim him. What he could offer in turn, if Mettaton could only take it.
But there was still the taste of his mouth, the eagerness that he could feel and respond to, the fingers at his neck encouraging him to remain where he was (as though he had any desire to pull back, even for air). Though Emet-Selch hadn't expected Mettaton's visit to go this way- not with a discussion that began with the end times and potentials for godhood, and included a disagreement on the wonders of humanity- he wasn't entirely surprised either.]
[The power of their collective appetite washes over Mettaton so strongly that he can only sigh into their kiss in return, not with any air but with sound, smooth and light on his velvety, unregulated tone. He feels like he's melting, his limbs slackening, and one of his hands moves to rest upon Emet-Selch's shoulder instead of his neck to bear some of his weight, as if he feared he'd fall into the other man with how overcome he is. No longer is this a new experience, but it remains fascinating and desirable all the same, and more enticing than the first if not to discover how far he could go... And that delights, more than he could express.
Mettaton pulls from the kiss just enough to examine the Ascian's face, a momentary break to take in the features he wants to be kissing, a chance to see how he looks as a point of reference for later. It's a sudden whim, but Mettaton's expression grows severe, sharp and evaluating in its attention to detail. To remember him now means comparing him to later, when he's flushed and lovebitten. The hue of his cheeks, the look in his eyes, the flush of his lips, the keep of his hair... None of it goes unchecked, and it's one of the more robotic things this non-robot would do.
How would Emet-Selch look minutes from now? How about after he's through with him? He's immediately hooked on the thought, desperate to see him exposed in this new light. Though Mettaton's expression is intense in the passion of his assessment, his legs tremble slightly against the mattress against his will, a fault of having muscle instead of pure metal.
And he says nothing about it, but he finally smirks.]
...Your eyes never fail to make me weak, beautiful.
[And though he's thinking of other things, it's the truth. He fancies the Ascian's gaze, found it to be one of the most defining traits he left the cell with of his soon-to-be Bonded. For being a ghost in the machine, Mettaton is awfully attracted to the physical form of things, even when he's so capable of separating their concepts.
With some of his composure regained, the hand he kept on his shoulder slides to the other man's shirt. If there are layers he'll have to use both hands, but no matter how it goes, he doesn't want anything keeping him from his chest. With unusually practiced dexterity for a robot who doesn't need to wear clothes, he unfastens closure after closure with one hand, humming with his work as he goes back to take Emet-Selch into a deep kiss, tasting him and leaning into him with the threat of pushing him over. He takes easy control, clearly driven toward something, a deep passion building within him.]
[Any added pressure from Mettaton is only a good thing as far as Emet-Selch is concerned, appreciating the sensation of being borne down on slightly, the clear effect they were having on one another. So when the kiss ends and the Ascian finds himself only stared at, his first response is to simply blink at him.
A note of skepticism enters his expression at being so closely observed, a look of habit, rather than actual feeling; he didn't know what Mettaton was searching for, but he didn't mind being considered, if for unknown reason. And it was interesting in itself to see the idol with that particular focus; it wasn't an expression he thought he'd seen before, and he watches him back just as shamelessly, waiting. Apart from his breathing being a touch elevated, his manner carrying an edge of anticipated desire, a sharper attentiveness amid permanent exhaustion, Emet-Selch looks relatively normal, thus far.
And he frowns back at that smirk, that line; though he refrains from asking, he still comments.]
So glad you found something to approve of.
[He sighs with no real exasperation into that kiss, even as he finds himself distracted by it, falling into it. His teeth graze across Mettaton's tongue, his lips, a drag of pressure rather than any bite. He could feel that hint of a quiver to the other man's legs, as more of a small vibration against the mattress, and he's drawn to drag a hand across his thigh at the sensation.
And with his shirts being opened, Emet-Selch doesn't try to help quite as much as the first time, letting Mettaton handle the fastenings on his own. He still uses the opportunity to stroke over his hands and arms, small touches to anything he could reach, ending the kiss with a shakier breath, only to press his lips along Mettaton's jaw, trailing to the top of his throat. As he feels skin hit air, he can't help but shiver, just from the change in temperature; his room tended towards the cold.
The reflex from being leaned into was to try and brace himself against the mattress with an arm, to hold himself up amid mounting pressure. But after a moment's deliberation, the Ascian relents, latching back onto Mettaton instead, allowing himself to be pushed back if he chose to.]
[It's a perfect observation, then. A flawless point of reference, a very normal Emet-Selch complete with his control and a frown to boot, but still paying Mettaton the amount of attention he approves of. He's eager to put this to use.
It's hard not to get distracted by what Emet-Selch treats him to, both within their kiss and beyond it. As feedback, feeling his hands wander his body forces him into deepening his kiss for longer with a short noise of pleasure from his throat, pressing harder, not allowing him to break it until he can have his fill. It surprises him how a mere stroke of his hips and his thighs can make him shudder, forcing him to squirm and readjust his body to handle the sensation. The feeling of teeth in his kiss makes him more amorous and intense, and before he could possibly permit his Bonded from changing focus and treating his jaw, he catches him in one last kiss, biting and sucking at his lower lip before releasing him.
MTT still smirks yet. But through their ever intensifying connection of a Bond, it's easy to tell that sensation of this quality remains new and alluring, if not overwhelming... But it's easy to tell that the idol thrives in being overwhelmed. Even the softest of touches sends sparks through his system and makes him want more, something just as sweet or something harder or more intense, he can never decide which. Would he ever get over this, when he's only craved it for so long?
His eyelid's heavy, and he bears his neck to Emet-Selch as he finishes undoing his shirts (of which there are multiple, requiring both hands). He hums, pleased by the initiative.
Emet-Selch shivers. MTT pushes, and he holds onto him in turn, ultimately allowing Mettaton to call the shots. Mettaton doesn't quite push him all the way back yet, but he smiles softly at him as he looms above him.]
You shiver... Is it cold in here?
[He can't tell. He imagines he'd be able to if Emet-Selch's skin were to accustom to the air about them and if he were to use his mouth, but he's otherwise clueless.
In the meantime, Mettaton takes the opportunity to press him into the bed, though he keeps close to allow Emet-Selch the ability to continue working on his neck. Almost as though he likes it, which he does. One of his hands greedily pushes his clothes open, dragging his hand up his abdomen and across his chest with varying pressure, all deliberate and curious. His hand lingers over his heart, his thumb stroking at his skin as Mettaton sighs again, smitten.]
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[This adds a new dimension of complexity, unforeseen.
So that's the purple tinge to his soul that he saw during their Bonding, something he thought was a mere characteristic of it. (People's souls have colors, that's normal.) His silver ears are more expressive than ever; they fold back flat, a reaction to something unpleasant. No compromise would work to prevent him from moving forward if he was bound to his destiny. Even this kind of plan isn't a perfect solution, after all.
He would have to do away with Emet-Selch somehow, just to realize his ambitions. Even if he managed to subdue him, wouldn't he still be compelled down the path of restoring Zodiark? The first time he was called upon, it required sacrifice. It would likely require the same to do it again, and the events would be sure to unfold similarly. Even Mettaton can see that. So there would be only one choice here, if he wanted to save so many people. It would involve killing just one person, as far as he knows. And whoever else happened to be committed to the same duty.
Where Emet-Selch glances away, Mettaton keeps his sharp gaze trained upon his features steadily, contrasting the zeal with which he speaks of Zodiark to his evident conflict. Truly, what a tragedy. He's dedicated not only to the revival of his people, but to the restoration of a god who once saved his world, short-lived as it was. No wonder such a tired man would press onward despite impossible circumstances, shackled to his duty as he is.
If there's one thing he knows, it's that he doesn't like that vague suggestion where he trails off. Mettaton shakes his head.]
Even if I subdued you... As soon as I relinquished control of you, it seems you'd continue with your plans. Despite everything. Tempered to him as you are.
But I will not kill you, if that's what you're going to ask.
[He doesn't want to, doesn't think he could. His reluctance feels overwhelming... Though he knows the conviction to do so is still within him, if he thought of it as the desire to protect and save. He raises one of his hands and moves it to brush fingers against his cheek gently, even as the Ascian can't look at him.
Who knew that he would meet such troubled people in this place... It's staggering.]
What to do with you...
no subject
[It's still not something Emet-Selch can view with any kind of resentment. None of this was Zodiark's fault. Or intention. He couldn't have accounted for a possibility of a world that didn't require His existence. Not when the only other chance of salvation came from the powers inherent to someone from a wholly different star, whose claimed (potential) abilities defied explanation. How could a mere few human souls (plus one monster soul) combined provide more strength than the thousands upon thousands of Amaurotine lives that had fed Zodiark's creation?
For something so impossible, why was he taking it so seriously? But even as a concept, it appealed, and with other hopes taken from him in this place, some unlikely replacement was- congenial. If it weren't for this one detail.]
Tempering has never been undone. Nor is it possible for the soul, once taken, to be claimed by another. But if you were capable of restoring the star to the way it once was, of preventing our original calamity- surely you could also--
[He still recoiled from the thought; he didn't have much choice but to do so. But this was just discussion. It was fine; it wasn't as though this was any actual threat to Zodiark. It was fine to wonder what it would be like; Emet-Selch had never given his thoughts much question after the tempering. He knew his personality remained the same, his love for his people was the same- adoration for a worthy god had just become part of that. Even were that tie removed, he couldn't imagine what it would feel like, after this long.
The touch to his face grounds him, very slightly. Emet-Selch looks up to Mettaton, leans into his hand. It's not hope in his expression, but something adjacent, something desperate and fragile and guilty.]
If you won't kill me- surely you could also restore my soul to the way it was. Temper me in His place, if you care to- it doesn't matter. So long as my people are saved... whatever happens to me is inconsequential.
[Or were there limitations, even to this insane sort of godhood?]
no subject
Even with his doubt, one look at Emet-Selch's expression is contagious. The thought of staking claim to another's soul or even releasing it from such terms feels foreign to him (though , though he wonders if it were possible to influence it in such a state after all... But he wants it to be possible. To sate him even somewhat, Mettaton presses all of his palm to his cheek.
His words are carried on a slow tempo, like he's trying to decide what his next move would be in a game unlikely to happen.]
... Yes. You might be right, darling... If I were capable of turning back time itself, why couldn't I? Restore your soul, to a state before claim.
[Would he lose his memories? ...A lot of thoughts for something that isn't happening, and has a slim likelihood of becoming an opportunity. This whole part feels like the most difficult aspect of it for some reason.
He strokes his cheek with a thumb, terribly open in his affection as he is.]
The way I see it... If I can think of the way to do it, it should be possible. I'll consider it. In case the opportunity strikes. I'll simply have to wait for that, and take it... Well. If we were afforded such an opportunity.
no subject
Was it any worse of a hope than returning home with his memories intact, so that he could find some other path himself? He didn't think so. What was one more impossible option? He couldn't truly believe in it, much less expect it, and being offered some concept of a solution hurt a little, in the realization that a return to the past is what he wanted after all. It shouldn't have come as any surprise; he'd been living in that time ever since it ended.
So many hypotheticals, possibilities of possibilities, no certainty in sight. But it was a pleasing delusion, wasn't it? He nudges that bit more against Mettaton's hand, soothed a little by the small motion of it.]
I think you've veered from compromise into an attempt at an answer, but... even if it's for the sake of humanity- if this worked, I doubt I could ever express the full measure of gratitude such an act would deserve.
[Standing up, the Ascian moves to wrap both arms around Mettaton, pulling him into a tight embrace, pressing the side of his face firmly against his. He could be grateful for the idea, even the knowledge that Mettaton would apparently be willing to try, would the chance come about. It's more concern than anyone else had shown his people, to save them along with the younger races.]
...Have you ever seen this opportunity for godhood come about?
[Or was this all just going off of rumor and legend?]
no subject
To learn that there was more yet to the reason he fought for the restoration of his people by any means in the form of a god's control over his very soul... If anything, he feels breaking such a Temper would take priority. He's just witnessed it getting in the way of his very own ambitions, after all, and every time Emet-Selch describes his people, he can feel his love for them. It affects him each time. It even struck him to read Emet-Selch's account of the cause for Zodiark's creation due to the detail of it all. With such detail must come some memory...
Mettaton holds him with equal tightness. He smiles, a touch rueful at Emet-Selch's state.]
Knowing what I know now, I doubt a compromise would truly help. If even redefining time would be met with such resistance. Humanity doesn't deserve to die. But the Amaurotine didn't, either. Given even the chance... I'll have to impress you now, won't I?
[Impressing isn't the name of the game here, but Mettaton's smile grows lighter at the remark. Mettaton pauses for a few moments, trying to make sense of shambled memory.]
No...? [The most uncertain thing he has ever said.] ... We were trapped Underground, as I told you. No hope for escape, though we knew if one of us took seven souls to became a god... Let's just say I have my suspicions, though I don't know who did it. Everybody was out cold. And once we came to, everything was made right! No conflict, no barrier, no more death. And, the human souls we'd collected had vanished! It was the best impossible outcome.
no subject
It's not something Emet-Selch would've done, even had he access to that sort of power. Mortals were vermin, regardless of world, and while he might be sympathetic to the plight of those more similar to himself- it wouldn't be to the point of interfering. Even with this demonstration of generosity from another.
It was hard enough for the Ascian to want to look after individuals who were not of his own people; extending that to a group was likely beyond him.]
I won't claim that my expectations aren't considerable... but though it weren't by intent, I seem to have found a fairly remarkable Bondmate....
[Though his grip relaxes a little, Emet-Selch doesn't let go, leaning against him. There were a lot of emotions to (fail to) process, and Mettaton's nearness helped somewhat.]
But that all sounds like a rather unlikely scenario.... [There's a note of disbelief in his tone; not at Mettaton's account, but at the idea of it at all.] When you say there was no conflict- does that mean humanity was rewritten to no longer fear you?
[He couldn't see what else would keep the monsters from being sealed away again. There were eras of peace; even the Ascian could admit to that much. But they always ended. The lessons learned by one generation were not carried to the next. That was one of the worst of their flaws.]
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I'll give you an abundance reasons to find me remarkable down the line, sweetheart.
[...Is there any way to be more remarkable than fixing like, everything? Mettaton seems to think so. He considers, at least, that his remarkability is from his tenacity and desire to take action, which he'll accept more readily than a compliment to his being.
Mettaton nods at his comment of unlikeliness. He certainly thinks so, especially after arriving in Aefenglom. But he considers more carefully his own phrasing from before and shakes his head shortly, as much as being against Emet-Selch would permit.]
Hm... No. What I meant was that I expected monsters... to completely eradicate humanity, upon absorption of the souls! Based on the fact that we had a human with us, they seemed to be untouched. Much to my delight. As for their attitude toward us, who knows? I never did see the sun before arriving here, much less all of humanity.
[Aefenglom as a whole is Mettaton's first taste of humanity beyond a screen, and a single day spent with an unfortunate kid. It's very possible that humans would respond poorly to their release, but Mettaton's optimistic. He taps his finger thoughtfully against Emet-Selch's body before rubbing his fingers against him, absentminded.]
Besides. I don't know how it all happened, since whoever took the souls only had six. Not seven... That's how many we need, after all. I've thought about it since, and it doesn't make sense. Truly unlikely. And provoking... Unless they managed the impossible, and took the souls of monsters. But what's impossibility, right?
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That his words already encompassed more than the potential for godhood, the Ascian decides not to clarify. If Mettaton wanted to provide him with more reasons to appreciate him, Emet-Selch wasn't about to deny him the opportunity. So he only hums in reply, a mix of amusement and acknowledgement, nestling a degree further against his body, encouraged by that casual rubbing, even as he thinks on his answer.]
What's impossibility, indeed.... So, there's nothing preventing humanity from turning against you once more in future. I'd keep a spare god or two around, if I were you, against that inevitability.
[If all it took was seven (or possibly six?), souls for one divinity, they could surely create a whole bunch without anyone really noticing. There were plenty of mortals, insignificant and fragile; killing a few handfuls would hardly put a dent in their population.
Because in the Ascian's experience... that peace would come crashing down sooner rather than later. No matter how miraculous and perfect Mettaton made it sound.
Which only leads him back to one question, and Emet-Selch tilts his head back enough to regard Mettaton's face as he asks it.]
--Why do you care so much for humanity? They feared your people, trapped them in the dark- and there's nothing to assume they won't plunge you back there again. By your own admission you've had little contact with humanity before now- and you've since experienced the depths they will go to, in their ignorance and self-absorption. That potential for cruelty they all carry within them.
Why do you think they're worth anything at all?
[Okay he can't always restrain his feelings about mortals.]
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This isn't a question that surprises him too much, since he's been asked it before while here. He never thought anybody would, but he supposes it makes sense. Even monsters would ask him, had they known his candid view on humanity. He expects that Emet-Selch would describe them with such distaste, but there's no way he hates them as much as he suggests. He wouldn't tolerate them at all if he truly despised them. Mettaton has decided that his is a circumstantial dissatisfaction with them, and it makes sense.
The robot smiles, eye bright. He seems to look off as he speaks to his love of humanity, like it's something beyond him.]
I don't fault them for their fear. If they had taken the time to understand us, maybe they would have felt differently, and this could be that opportunity. I'm of the belief that it's that same capacity for cruelty that speaks to the depths they have for empathy. ...Monsters always said that humans lack compassion and love, but I disagree. Just because theirs is difficult to earn doesn't mean they don't have it! And every human I've met here has proven me right. Aren't they strange? You can never predict what they'll do next... They defy expectation. More often than not, I find that they're kind, not cruel.
[He grips onto Emet-Selch, taken by his own adoration for humankind. He rolls his eyes when Alphys goes off about anime, but here's Mettaton, going off about humanity.]
Don't get me started on human culture. They come up with all sorts of creative, beautiful, and frivolous things, then convince each other that they need it! And. Have you seen them perform?? Surely, living among them, you have. Their expressiveness... Their passion...! They arrest me. And maybe... I see myself in them. Monsters didn't have performance like that before me, and I learned about it... from humans!
[when you like humans because they say you need a 78th kitchen appliance, wear glitter on camera, and like movies you found in the dump
But there's another thing. Mettaton's starry-eyed zeal simmers down as he remembers all of the non-human individuals here in Aefenglom, and how much they're so much the same. He refocuses on Emet-Selch with a weak smile: even though he has an obvious distaste for them that he can't respect at all, he's seen a lot of the Ascian for himself that leads him to along a string of realization.]
...In living here for all these months, I've come to realize something, however. I was wrong. It's not just humans who amaze me with their depths. I feel as though everyone I meet surprises me. Such intensity and complexity hidden underneath unshakeable composure...
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How strange... from being here I've come to the opposite conclusion.
[Emet-Selch doesn't take a scornful or mocking tone, at least, though he originally would have, with Mettaton. Instead it's- tired. Nearly regretful. His hands dig into him a little, in return.
He'd hoped in them before. Repeatedly. Even up through the present era, the Ascian still, ever more rarely, found himself... did it even qualify as hope, any more? It was too delicate for that, the sort of thought that if he noticed himself having it, vanished into nothing. He'd given them so many chances, and they'd failed him each time; what was even left to have hope for?]
I believed the flaws I found in humanity to be a result of the broken condition of their souls. But here, I have no reason to think that anyone apart from the unfortunates from my star have souls that are anything but complete. And yet their behavior is much the same; mortality itself is the issue. You say they defy expectation... I would say they are utterly predictable, falling to their base natures at the slightest whim.
[Essentially, it wasn't only the sundered races that were beneath him- it was everyone. His people had been some strange amazing outlier of perfection, a concept unknown to anyone he'd come across.]
Cultural changes aside, the core of them is alike. Their expressions of cruelty, their passion for developing ever more vicious torments. The distrust of the unfamiliar, how quickly they turn to violence. The cries for retribution against said violence, as though that solves anything at all.
[It's said with a bitter echo of a smile, and his voice has a strained quality to it.]
See? It does nothing but repeat. If this is your first time through the cycle, 'tis no wonder you're caught up in their appearance of potential. Their occasional charms, their transitory creations. But in the end... what value is there in anything that cannot last? The only depth they possess is their capacity for limitless pain.
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But it's around the point where Emet-Selch mentions their like core, their expressions of cruelty, their distrust of the unfamiliar where he reminds himself to try actually listening, even if he disagreed.
And watch that frown shift from anger to disappointment, then evolve into worry when Emet-Selch stops being somebody who is attacking his ideals, and instead somebody jaded who has lived among people long enough to have developed such a view. And, why? So he worries. Their experiences with the same people must be so different if he ever thought that the actions of their fellow Mirrorbound were predictable or unkind. Even if a good portion of even his fellow Mirrorbound treated him to denial of personhood and fear, that didn't make them bad people. That made them someone to appeal to and reach out for.
Mettaton glances away, thinking about the humans who indulged in senseless cruelty. He hadn't ruminated on it much, because it hurt him to think about... The experience with the Rathmores hits him full force, perhaps with even more rawness than being there ever did, more than even when he reflected upon it with Alphys. She didn't experience being taken apart and commented upon like meat or, more accurately in his case, like an example to be made of. Emet-Selch did, and this must be the kind of thing he means when he talks about their capacity for cruelty, a cruelty Mettaton had never considered. And of all stupid, stupid things he thinks about that coward of a man who pretzelled himself frustratingly under a sink to avoid having to interact with Mettaton, accusing him of being a senseless killing machine without basis. Interacting with people has been delightful, but the frustrations sobering, at times.
Mettaton begrudgingly rests his forehead against Emet-Selch's shoulder, finding the added relief of support to be welcome. He doesn't sound like he's mocking him.]
...Humans are scared of monsters. They're scared of ghosts. And... did you know they're also terribly scared of robots? I can't blame them, even still...
[Mettaton is naive and ignorant, optimistic and hopeful, placing humanity on a pedestal like one might do to an idol. Humanity's fear is the root of these poor reactions, and he thought he could bypass it by having the figure of one. The idol would never allow for their fear to color his view: it makes perfect sense.
And even thinking about them in such a light — fleeting, senselessly cruel, distrusting, fearful, their capacity to hurt — he doesn't doubt his love for humanity.]
Anyway. I don't see how you're so different from them. What do you think sets you apart from them...? Really. I don't see what I'm supposed to be disappointed in. Because you feared me and distrusted me just like they do. Your kindness is selective, but you are so much that, and never cruel. Most of humanity isn't either, and their potential is remarkable. And I... found that I could love you just like I love them.
...Did you ever love humanity, Hades? Or have you always disliked them, or waited for them to prove themselves worth loving? What would earn your approval...?
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So when that expression, that reaction changes, Emet-Selch is a bit at a loss, feeling a mix of surprise and confusion at hearing any sort of concession towards humanity's fearful condition. It makes it easier for him to listen in turn, rather than seek out something to be insulted by and lash out at it.]
If you understand what they'll do in their fear, why--
[He cuts himself off with a sigh, a vaguely frustrated sound.]
Of course I have all the same emotions that they do. [And he frowns, glancing aside towards the blank walls of his room, trying to not find offense at being compared to mortals. Trying to decide how to explain the difference.] In the true world, there was no need for fear or mistrust. Were you to appear in Amaurot as you are, you would be welcomed without reservation. Anything I display now, I've learned.
[He's... not at all sure how to react at being told of being loved, alongside humanity. It- hurt, a little. And with Mettaton's head on his shoulder, Emet-Selch reaches up to slowly stroke at his hair. That unabashed (and undeserved) love for humanity was something he could almost respect, if it weren't for its target. It reminded him the smallest bit of his own people, who'd never had to learn distrust.]
How could I ever love them, considering what they're capable of? Yet- that first generation, immediately after the sundering... you could see it in their eyes, sometimes. Moments of recognition, recollection- fading dreams of a world that they would never behold again. No- perhaps I loved them still. I despaired for what they had been rendered into, but I knew not what all that entailed. What all they had become.
If I were to ever accept them, humanity would have to move beyond what they currently are. Even then- I don't know. It would be difficult.
[Perfection was a hard thing to be compared to.]
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[The qualifier was among humanity's many chaotic traits. Their transience, their forgetfulness, their capacity to hurt, their fearfulness. But in listening to Emet-Selch just now, he paid special focus to their loss of remembrance. How isolated he must have felt. They were all a product of his original people, against all odds. That they could no longer recall what he could.
Truth be told, Mettaton's adoration for humanity is also rooted in a very selfish want: an audience greater than he'd ever had. Monsterkind was cramped up in a small space, limiting how they could flourish as a population, and humanity promised to be vast: millions, billions. There's no way Emet-Selch could change his view on a population so pivotal to his development, but perhaps the same could be said for him. His Bonded holds views that run deep and personal.
Mettaton is comforted by the Ascian's hand against his hair, and he shifts his head closer to his neck. Disagreeing about humanity's worth while remaining close to the person with a view his polar opposite... He wasn't directly threatening them, not now. He even admitted himself that he'd have no reason to,here. Perhaps they could both afford to see the other's perspective.]
It seems I'm your opposite again, gorgeous. What a surprise. I hope for them, not despair for them. But... I don't hold any expectations for them, as you do. I don't think it's a trait exclusive to humanity, to be distrustful or quick to judge. They're not perfect, and I love them for it. But just as you learned from humanity some of these traits, they're capable of learning, too.
[And apparently they hadn't done enough of it in the many thousands of years Emet-Selch has been around. He's aware of what he's saying, but Mettaton lacks anything else. Humanity is fine as it is, even in its flaws. That's why he knows how they could respond to their fear, but chooses to make peace with it. Mettaton finally squeezes him back with his hands after having gone cold on him before.]
...When I first learned of your history, I thought to myself that I would do whatever it took to stop you. But the more I understand, the more I don't want to do that. I want you to fulfill your ambitions. What a conflict... I know I'm the picture of perfection, but, well. I have my whims. ...You must have been very lonely.
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An opposition that held no consequence here, beyond the emotions involved in the debating of ethics. Perhaps such lack of result could incur tolerance, he supposed, but this was more than that. An effect of the Bond? Or some acceptance that genuinely held convictions- and that they were convictions, not casually held thoughts or preferences- were something that could be understood, if not agreed with?
Not that the Ascian hadn't scorned honest conviction before, but circumstances here were quite unusual. With no one to save, no gods to revive- no powers, only stories of a doomed future awaiting him, the situation had never been more unstable. He couldn't change his perspective, his experience, but hearing another's was less of an existential threat.
Emet-Selch wondered distantly if this was another weakness of his own; he didn't think any other Ascian would've allowed even this much.]
If one can manage it, not having expectations is only for the best. Fewer disappointments that way. Believing in mortals is the path to ruin, or at the very least, endless frustration. ...Or perhaps you would continue to enjoy their transience, regardless. Ever a new audience, I suppose- so long as you don't tire of performance, you'll never run out of those seeking diversion.
[This is probably the closest Emet-Selch has ever come to accepting or understanding a possible reason for preferring humanity as it is. Even if it was something he inherently disagreed with, the Ascian could see why someone with a personality type like Mettaton's might enjoy those aspects, while being less troubled by the negatives. If the meaning he found in life was to be an idol- an endlessly respawning sea of admirers could only appeal.
Even though it wasn't the sort of thing Emet-Selch would ever be able to believe in himself (and certainly wasn't a good enough reason to spare any lives), it was a better argument than the usual 'they just have meaning, somehow.']
Well... 'tis safe to support my ambitions here. There's naught I can do for them now, and with death awaiting my return, you may offer whatever sympathies you like, to no mortal consequence. --Still, it's heartening to know at least one person isn't wholly devoted to my demise.
[He's not sure what to say about being lonely. It was absolutely true, a core feature of his underlying motivation. His fingers in Mettaton's hair hesitate at the statement; his other arm tightens around him. Instead, he asks:]
--Being immortal, do you think you'll ever become lonely, surrounded by humanity? Or is evanescent adoration enough...?
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Being permitted the "safety" of sympathizing with Emet-Selch, Mettaton smirks and deliberately brings his body closer. He hums a laugh.]
Come on. I doubt many are devoted to your demise, darling... For what good that does. Which isn't much. But it's the sentiment that counts... Or, lack thereof.
[He's thinking about Mira. There's no way she wanted him dead, Emet-Selch, the man himself. She's too fond of him, and with all of Emet-Selch's Bonds to these Warriors, he doubts they feel so strongly about killing him.
He feels the pause, but more than that, he notes the tightening of his arm. It feels nice, and he returns the gesture. That's the feeling he gets from him, he realizes. It's unfathomable loneliness wherever there's want and need. One of his hands moves from his shoulder to trace a slow line across the Ascian's back, one that will follow his shoulder blade before uniting with his spine and tracing further south.
Emet-Selch's bouncing Mettaton's observation back at him in the form of a question doesn't cause the robot to freeze, but it does cause him to slow. Yes, the love of his fans has been plenty. But he's realized that it caused him to place even greater distance between himself and all others, and... The Puca has some thoughts. He places a soft kiss against Emet-Selch's clavicle.]
My fans will always remain my fans, and I... to them, just with in reach. It's as the saying goes. It's lonely, being at the top!! I can't accept every proposal for my hand I receive! Even if my goal is always to please my fans, however possible. ... I hadn't thought about it. Becoming lonely. I'm always surrounded by adorers... And I could see myself being content that way.
[But here he stands in the company of someone he's found comfort with, and just before arriving here, he found himself breaking his routine for companionship. He remains pressed to his skin.]
But I realized something. I've been missing... companionship. I forwent it for long enough that I'd forgotten what it's like. To share myself with someone else, without restraint. ...If my only option was humanity, it's not impossible to find somebody I could keep close. I should think that I would cherish them in their life, and remember them fondly thereafter. It's a bit... It's bittersweet. But it would beat being idolized, having so many to cherish in return, yet lacking someone of significance to adore...
[This sentiment pricks him a lot more than it ever has, and maybe becoming the company-favoring Puca is slightly responsible for it. But the heartache he feels is also in part due to his penchant for ignoring the troublesome aspects of existence: how could he ever fear loneliness if he never acknowledged it? Emet-Selch, with his incredibly different perspective on things, forces Mettaton to consider that which he doesn't allow himself.
From his collar bone, Mettaton places another kiss further up his throat — just barely, the first hint that he'll kiss all the way up. Before he can advance, he remains against Emet-Selch's neck for a moment more.]
Haha. Listen to me. Of course my fans are enough. But... I like this. A lot.
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And he only shakes his head a little- barely perceptible at all, not wanting to disturb Mettaton's presence at his neck- at the idea that few were devoted to his death. He could agree that- those Warriors at least- would not want to kill him. Nor did Emet-Selch want to kill them. But they still would, and he still would, and it all amounted to much the same result, in the end.
He focuses instead on the trailing of Mettaton's hands, the beginning of their slow path down his back, the degree more of pressure of his form against his. It still wasn't the warmth or softness of a normal body, but that mattered no more to him now than it had before. At the small kiss, he stills, finding his eyes closing, to better focus on the sensation, and the sound of Mettaton's voice.
A voice which brings an edge of irritation at the start of his reply, finding it unerringly... Mettaton-esque. The idol was quite good at that, unsurprisingly.
But when he goes into the rest of his answer, the annoyance fades back into a deeper melancholy. Shifting his arms, Emet-Selch wraps both of them around Mettaton again, not tightly, but firmly. His fingers dig in with more pressure, as though limiting his emotional intensity to one thing, as though he could control it that way.]
--that is the greatest flaw to humanity, their inherent fragility. Even when you've found one worth knowing, worth attachment, they'll leave you behind through no intention of their own. How often can you bear to repeat that? Until you can no longer stomach the idea of losing yet another piece of yourself in return for a few moments of company? And yet...
[How could there be a yet? There wasn't, he knew this, but--]
Solitude... well, let's say it doesn't come recommended.
[And so he was here, still; his fingers dig in yet harder. His voice remains even.]
But this is just as ephemeral, you know.
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It isn't as though Mettaton hadn't already known. He's had his fair share of conversations with Mirrorbound who refuse outright to foster meaningful connections, so on their guard that they can't stomach the pain of loss in exchange for the formation of memory. And Mettaton didn't have any reason to anticipate pain, not really.
This thought makes him feel that, somewhat. It's a rush, heavy and light both at once. The heaviness is beyond him, something that permeates his mood; light, because of the thought that something could make him feel such potency that it dizzies him. He can feel Emet-Selch's fingertips gripping into him, and it only serves to intensify the feeling.
The intensity must be contagious, if he weren't feeling it for himself to begin with. Being in Emet-Selch's presence does that to him.]
Yes... It is. ...Good thing we're living it, at present. I want to relish it.
[He moves up and places another kiss to his neck, both firm yet gentle.]
... And I'm willing to give a piece of myself to this. ...You'll let me take from you in turn, I hope. I want to have you.
[One of his hands remains against Emet-Selch's spine, pressing with more urgency there, while the other moves forward to grace against his chest. Mettaton pulls from his neck, body still otherwise flush to his Bonded's as he stares down upon him with an easygoing smile.]
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The present....
[Had he ever lived in it? Not since that time before the disaster, when every day had been much the same, the sort of thing that had felt as though it could stretch on forever. Not that he'd felt contentment, much less happiness even then, and he only appreciated what he'd had once it had been lost. But that was the way of things, wasn't it?
Unease, wariness, perpetual longing. The kiss to his neck both soothed and increased those feelings. Forcing his hands to relax, the Ascian smooths them over Mettaton's back, as though trying to reassure himself further.]
You're asking a lot. It's quite presumptuous, honestly....
[But what did he have in this world? Nothing would ever supplant his people, even if they weren't present in any form. Though his eyes flicker open again, the Ascian's gaze drifts to the side, unseeing. What was the point in trusting someone to that degree, knowing there was no permanence in it? On the other hand- if memory and experience were cursed to remain here, what did he have to lose? It wasn't as though he could bring any more loss back with him.
It wasn't as though he hadn't already been quite vulnerable with Mettaton, but it was one thing to do so on instinct or impulse, and another to be made conscious of it.
...Why did he feel more hopeless at the thought of succeeding? As though resigning himself to a worse fate. What a terrible thing, emotions were...]
I doubt I have anything left to take. [Emet-Selch admits, words slow, as though each one took effort, drained him that little bit more. Looking back up to Mettaton finally, he appears cautious, trying to ignore the lure of his presence, the hand to his chest, the way his back tensed underneath the fingers digging into his spine. The way he wanted to press closer still. It felt like being coaxed off a cliff, being convinced that it was better to break himself again on the rocks below.] Perhaps- over time... if I can dredge something up--
[He makes a small, breathless noise, half-pained, half-amused.]
That's not much of a promise, is it? Or reward. Whatever you scrape off of me, it's not going to be pleasant.
[Could he attach to anything in a healthy way?]
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It almost surprises him to hear that Emet-Selch didn't figure himself as one with anything to take, when he sees so much he'd be delighted to have: the look of tenderness that goes guarded behind sharp eyes, the sounds he makes when kisses him beyond sense, and the way he looks when Mettaton can tell that he's found something of interest to occupy his attentions.
The hand over Emet-Selch's heart moves up to admire his features, fingers stroking the angle of his jaw, the softness of his cheek, and... his thumb freezes at the outer corner of Emet-Selch's eye, recalling that the yellow is truly his.]
To you. But I can't think of a thing less pleasant than something I want, Hades, darling. And if that something is you...
[Crystal, diamond, gold, all things he's found himself arrested by even more than usual since transforming, and this feels more enticing, like having a piece of his very soul. The robot leans on to press a kiss to Emet-Selch's lips, deliberate and covetous in how he captures the other man's lower lip between his, willing to take as much as Emet-Selch has available.
In speaking again, he does it against his Bonded's lips]
And... I think I've already taken from you, besides. But I'll never turn down the offer for more... As much as you have available to me. Ephemeral as our arrangement's made to be... I couldn't possibly forget it.
[A thought occurs to him. He didn't come here anticipating that he'd bed Emet-Selch, no, but he also doesn't know if he should be standing on that leg of his. How slow to people heal, anyway? How quickly? The hand against Emet-Selch's spine moves further south, suddenly, veering off to the side so as to rest firmly against the hip of his right leg.
He gives him a gentle squeeze, appreciating the give of tissue around the back of Emet-Selch's hip. There's even a little push in the direction of his bed, at least so that he can seat him there.]
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As a single scratch could invite infection, so too did affection fester. Why should a simple touch to his face, feeling the path Mettaton's fingers walked with unnatural clarity, mean anything at all? Once the shell of indifference and apathy was gone, he had a weakness to attention like that. The Ascian was a sentimental sort.
The curse of the Bond was knowing it was genuine; this wasn't some trick or ploy; even if it were meaningless, everything Mettaton was offering was real. And Emet-Selch is unnerved anew at how much he did want that, to claim those feelings as though he had any right to them.
The kiss comes as something of an inevitability, but no worse for being anticipated. As he leans into it with the smallest of sighs, he feels his lip caught, the sense of deliberation and care in the other man's gestures. And that it took no effort at all for Emet-Selch to affix his attention on him, to respond in kind. To trail his tongue along Mettaton's lower lip before he replies.]
...I suppose you have, at that.
[He couldn't have been so open with him, before or now, without losing something in the process. Without being taken from. Because that's what it was, wasn't it- inviting loss, and hurt, to be carved up that little bit more for the sake of some temporary solace. Even the idea of being remembered sends a pang through him, a whisper of unhappy tension. How cruel, to offer something so impossible, yet so wanted....
His leg was improving by degrees, but even had it been completely well, Emet-Selch wouldn't have reacted otherwise to that squeeze to his hip, its suggested direction. Without letting himself be pulled from Mettaton's lips, he edges backward until he feels the back of his legs hit the side of his bed. Even then he hesitates to move from him, sitting down and half-trying to pull him with, somehow. Hands skimming along Mettaton's arms, his murmur has a harsher note to it.]
If so, you had better take everything, then. I despise half-measures.
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Instead of sitting by his side, the Puca slides a knee at either side of Emet-Selch's hips, at first resulting in Emet-Selch being even with his torso. But he bends at the waist and curves his back, stroking his hands down Emet-Selch's hair and settling them on either side of his neck with a gentle grip. He brings their faces close, his long ears leaning forward in interest for his Bondmate, who he feels so taken by, so much more than he ever thought possible. It's inspiring: it enhances his every sense, the sheer feeling alone, as if developing them for real wasn't enough. He can feel clearer than ever the depth of Emet-Selch's feelings as though he's above their surface, all too aware of how his Bonded's conflicted emotions ran heavy.
For now, at least, he can tell where he ends and Emet-Selch begins. Mettaton himself feels alive, electric, a sort of restless energy akin to butterflies, and... acknowledged. Recognized, beyond just his desires. But on that note, to take everything from his Bonded... What would that leave behind? He wants to find out, but more than that, he wants, pure and simple.
When might they start feeling each other? That's been a trend, hasn't it? It turns out that Bonds either develop faster than Mettaton anticipated, or theirs was a peculiar connection. And how severe would it develop? It's exciting enough to make him shiver, while being equally dreadful.
The edge of Emet-Selch's voice causes him to lose his words, and he closes his eye in a breathless sigh.]
Demanding, are we...? You'll be pleased to know. I don't settle for second best... and I don't leave things half-finished.
[His hands on either side of his neck, Mettaton eagerly steals him up in a kiss, never anything but the full extent of his desire. His fingers press into the back of Emet-Selch's neck, his libidinous nature stoked so quickly that it's enough to make him feel like the past minutes were spent in aching tension, as though he's wanted him all along. His mind starts conjuring up the ways he wants Emet-Selch, both possible and impossible — impossible always being the ways he can't take him for himself.
Deeply frustrating, but he'll put it all aside to focus on this. Right now, as he pushes his tongue between lips, appreciating their softness and his Bonded's warmth, though he's perhaps warmer yet. It's hard to beat out a machine with temperatures that beat out feverish.]
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Mettaton's words, his voice, send a rush of heat running through him, a sense of satisfaction with it. Even though Emet-Selch expected nothing else by this point, it seemed that neither of them were the sort to do anything by halves. Even in gentleness there was intensity, and he had a similar thought as to their Bond; there was still much further it could go, and what would that feel like, considering the strength of everything already?
Would it even be possible to hold back, if he tried? He was either giving himself to this, to him, or he was not; there was no partial answer.
And he remained surprised at how quickly, how easily his body responded to Mettaton's advances- at his nearness alone, even. Emet-Selch's interest had ever been limited, further dampened by depression and smothered by lethargy. Perhaps it was the directness, or openness of this connection- that yearning for emotional closeness finding some physical avenue for expression. Whatever the cause, Mettaton provoked it so thoroughly that the sudden intensity of that want has him lightheaded and completely hard.
It wasn't a normal warmth, but he'd take it, lips parting to take the other's tongue, sliding his own back against Mettaton's with a stifled noise, a quick breath. Even if it reached a point of burning, Emet-Selch doubted that he'd have an easy time pulling away. His hand moves up to Mettaton's face, his thumb grazing the corner of the other's lips where their mouths met, the tips of his fingers trailing over the idol's cheek.
Though it's gently that his other hand rubs along Mettaton's hip, gently that he cups his face and moans softly into their kiss, it all belied his own frustrated want. Though the Ascian had begun his studies for transfiguration, he was still a beginner; there was nothing he could do for them yet. It was hard not to give voice to that desire, to swallow back all the ways he wanted to claim him. What he could offer in turn, if Mettaton could only take it.
But there was still the taste of his mouth, the eagerness that he could feel and respond to, the fingers at his neck encouraging him to remain where he was (as though he had any desire to pull back, even for air). Though Emet-Selch hadn't expected Mettaton's visit to go this way- not with a discussion that began with the end times and potentials for godhood, and included a disagreement on the wonders of humanity- he wasn't entirely surprised either.]
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Mettaton pulls from the kiss just enough to examine the Ascian's face, a momentary break to take in the features he wants to be kissing, a chance to see how he looks as a point of reference for later. It's a sudden whim, but Mettaton's expression grows severe, sharp and evaluating in its attention to detail. To remember him now means comparing him to later, when he's flushed and lovebitten. The hue of his cheeks, the look in his eyes, the flush of his lips, the keep of his hair... None of it goes unchecked, and it's one of the more robotic things this non-robot would do.
How would Emet-Selch look minutes from now? How about after he's through with him? He's immediately hooked on the thought, desperate to see him exposed in this new light. Though Mettaton's expression is intense in the passion of his assessment, his legs tremble slightly against the mattress against his will, a fault of having muscle instead of pure metal.
And he says nothing about it, but he finally smirks.]
...Your eyes never fail to make me weak, beautiful.
[And though he's thinking of other things, it's the truth. He fancies the Ascian's gaze, found it to be one of the most defining traits he left the cell with of his soon-to-be Bonded. For being a ghost in the machine, Mettaton is awfully attracted to the physical form of things, even when he's so capable of separating their concepts.
With some of his composure regained, the hand he kept on his shoulder slides to the other man's shirt. If there are layers he'll have to use both hands, but no matter how it goes, he doesn't want anything keeping him from his chest. With unusually practiced dexterity for a robot who doesn't need to wear clothes, he unfastens closure after closure with one hand, humming with his work as he goes back to take Emet-Selch into a deep kiss, tasting him and leaning into him with the threat of pushing him over. He takes easy control, clearly driven toward something, a deep passion building within him.]
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A note of skepticism enters his expression at being so closely observed, a look of habit, rather than actual feeling; he didn't know what Mettaton was searching for, but he didn't mind being considered, if for unknown reason. And it was interesting in itself to see the idol with that particular focus; it wasn't an expression he thought he'd seen before, and he watches him back just as shamelessly, waiting. Apart from his breathing being a touch elevated, his manner carrying an edge of anticipated desire, a sharper attentiveness amid permanent exhaustion, Emet-Selch looks relatively normal, thus far.
And he frowns back at that smirk, that line; though he refrains from asking, he still comments.]
So glad you found something to approve of.
[He sighs with no real exasperation into that kiss, even as he finds himself distracted by it, falling into it. His teeth graze across Mettaton's tongue, his lips, a drag of pressure rather than any bite. He could feel that hint of a quiver to the other man's legs, as more of a small vibration against the mattress, and he's drawn to drag a hand across his thigh at the sensation.
And with his shirts being opened, Emet-Selch doesn't try to help quite as much as the first time, letting Mettaton handle the fastenings on his own. He still uses the opportunity to stroke over his hands and arms, small touches to anything he could reach, ending the kiss with a shakier breath, only to press his lips along Mettaton's jaw, trailing to the top of his throat. As he feels skin hit air, he can't help but shiver, just from the change in temperature; his room tended towards the cold.
The reflex from being leaned into was to try and brace himself against the mattress with an arm, to hold himself up amid mounting pressure. But after a moment's deliberation, the Ascian relents, latching back onto Mettaton instead, allowing himself to be pushed back if he chose to.]
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It's hard not to get distracted by what Emet-Selch treats him to, both within their kiss and beyond it. As feedback, feeling his hands wander his body forces him into deepening his kiss for longer with a short noise of pleasure from his throat, pressing harder, not allowing him to break it until he can have his fill. It surprises him how a mere stroke of his hips and his thighs can make him shudder, forcing him to squirm and readjust his body to handle the sensation. The feeling of teeth in his kiss makes him more amorous and intense, and before he could possibly permit his Bonded from changing focus and treating his jaw, he catches him in one last kiss, biting and sucking at his lower lip before releasing him.
MTT still smirks yet. But through their ever intensifying connection of a Bond, it's easy to tell that sensation of this quality remains new and alluring, if not overwhelming... But it's easy to tell that the idol thrives in being overwhelmed. Even the softest of touches sends sparks through his system and makes him want more, something just as sweet or something harder or more intense, he can never decide which. Would he ever get over this, when he's only craved it for so long?
His eyelid's heavy, and he bears his neck to Emet-Selch as he finishes undoing his shirts (of which there are multiple, requiring both hands). He hums, pleased by the initiative.
Emet-Selch shivers. MTT pushes, and he holds onto him in turn, ultimately allowing Mettaton to call the shots. Mettaton doesn't quite push him all the way back yet, but he smiles softly at him as he looms above him.]
You shiver... Is it cold in here?
[He can't tell. He imagines he'd be able to if Emet-Selch's skin were to accustom to the air about them and if he were to use his mouth, but he's otherwise clueless.
In the meantime, Mettaton takes the opportunity to press him into the bed, though he keeps close to allow Emet-Selch the ability to continue working on his neck. Almost as though he likes it, which he does. One of his hands greedily pushes his clothes open, dragging his hand up his abdomen and across his chest with varying pressure, all deliberate and curious. His hand lingers over his heart, his thumb stroking at his skin as Mettaton sighs again, smitten.]
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