[It certainly was a complicated mess of feelings. And though Emet-Selch sits up, continuing to look down at her, he makes no move to actually change positions otherwise. The edge of emotions he feels from Irhya only continue to tangle, rather than clarify his own. He sought neither to hurt nor reassure her- only a dull irritation at his own indecision.
At her words, her request, he couldn't deny that beat of want; it was only natural- complications or no, he still had physical form, he wasn't immune. But that want was mixed immediately with suspicion and disquiet. This would be giving up more control than he was entirely prepared to do, asking a certain amount of vulnerability.]
What makes you think-- [In contrast to his tone, the hand that brushes over the side of her face is gentle, fingers stroking from her forehead, down to run along the line of her jaw.] that I would accept that from you?
[The answer comes after a few seconds, plain and straightforward.]
You would have made me back off or outright removed yourself a while ago if you were opposed from the start. And I don't care if you're not up to doing anything for me in return, I just...
[She sighs, halfway defeated. He seems to be perpetually mixed when it comes to her, and it only frustrates her in turn, that her lack of skill with words is more likely to turn him away than convince him. Immediate action would be too presumptuous, but what else does she have? Even if she has little left to lose, she has made a little progress today, so preserving that takes priority.]
If you aren't interested, just tell me now so I don't humiliate myself over it. I don't mind if we just stay like this, either. Tactile contact is supposed to be good for Bonds either way, isn't it?
[There is hesitation. But he was still shaking off the idea that she wasn't out for his blood, and it would likely take time for those intrusive thoughts to fade, to let go of the hurt. And though he considered powering through regardless....
In the end the Ascian shifts off of her, to sit next to Irhya on the bed. He glances sideways at her for a moment, before closing his eyes, and sighing.]
--Then no. I don't dislike you, but I don't trust you either. Not now.
[And though there is a moment of regret, the relief is more unmistakable.]
If I let you continue, it would be a matter of duty, nothing more- and I've long since tired of those necessities.
[Irhya sits up, setting a hand on his shoulder with an acknowledging sound; suddenly, she's glad she asked. At least she knows there's something resembling interest, but if the pain still persists, she ought not to force it.]
All right. That would be the last thing I'd want.
[Her gaze settles on the floor for a while, her tail twitching a little like an embarrassed cat's.]
Can we stay like this, though? Or do you want me to give you a little space for now?
[Creeping in from those dense, tangled emotions, comes a sense of being drained. Not in a good, nor bad way- just a touch hollowed out. Ever since Irhya had arrived, it had been a strange, and mostly uncomfortable experience. It would be for the better in the long run, but- that didn't make it easy.]
...You can stay. [That would probably be fine. Emet-Selch was tired and that made it easier to accept. Shifting to stretch out along the bed on his side, he reaches out to Irhya to encourage her beside him. This was fine.]
[Being so small, it's easy for her to nestle into him, placing her forehead on his chest and raising a hand to take his upper arm in hand. It's a surprisingly needy grasp, but for all that she tries to be independent, human warmth like this is a luxury, even if it comes with a layer of unease. It's imperfect, a little awkward still, but it's good. It's for her.
She can't help but wonder briefly if it would be better to stay or let him wake up alone, but waking up by himself might be more of a betrayal than not, small and insignificant though it is. And it would be a lie to say she wasn't tired, too, for reasons different to his but still mostly out of her control.
Irhya doesn't want to die, either, but tucks her own fears away for the time being to take in his scent, sighing as her breathing evens out and her facial expression falls back to neutral.]
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no subject
At her words, her request, he couldn't deny that beat of want; it was only natural- complications or no, he still had physical form, he wasn't immune. But that want was mixed immediately with suspicion and disquiet. This would be giving up more control than he was entirely prepared to do, asking a certain amount of vulnerability.]
What makes you think-- [In contrast to his tone, the hand that brushes over the side of her face is gentle, fingers stroking from her forehead, down to run along the line of her jaw.] that I would accept that from you?
no subject
You would have made me back off or outright removed yourself a while ago if you were opposed from the start. And I don't care if you're not up to doing anything for me in return, I just...
[She sighs, halfway defeated. He seems to be perpetually mixed when it comes to her, and it only frustrates her in turn, that her lack of skill with words is more likely to turn him away than convince him. Immediate action would be too presumptuous, but what else does she have? Even if she has little left to lose, she has made a little progress today, so preserving that takes priority.]
If you aren't interested, just tell me now so I don't humiliate myself over it. I don't mind if we just stay like this, either. Tactile contact is supposed to be good for Bonds either way, isn't it?
no subject
In the end the Ascian shifts off of her, to sit next to Irhya on the bed. He glances sideways at her for a moment, before closing his eyes, and sighing.]
--Then no. I don't dislike you, but I don't trust you either. Not now.
[And though there is a moment of regret, the relief is more unmistakable.]
If I let you continue, it would be a matter of duty, nothing more- and I've long since tired of those necessities.
no subject
All right. That would be the last thing I'd want.
[Her gaze settles on the floor for a while, her tail twitching a little like an embarrassed cat's.]
Can we stay like this, though? Or do you want me to give you a little space for now?
no subject
...You can stay. [That would probably be fine. Emet-Selch was tired and that made it easier to accept. Shifting to stretch out along the bed on his side, he reaches out to Irhya to encourage her beside him. This was fine.]
no subject
She can't help but wonder briefly if it would be better to stay or let him wake up alone, but waking up by himself might be more of a betrayal than not, small and insignificant though it is. And it would be a lie to say she wasn't tired, too, for reasons different to his but still mostly out of her control.
Irhya doesn't want to die, either, but tucks her own fears away for the time being to take in his scent, sighing as her breathing evens out and her facial expression falls back to neutral.]
Thanks.