[He has a lot to glean from that. It may not be the whole truth, but it is the truth as Emet-Selch sees it. That's still valuable.]
... So even a god could not reverse what happened. It may have been that the only way to secure a second chance, to bring life back to the star, was to begin again.
You answered my questions. Do you still wish to know my thoughts?
Even if all the lives lost were restored, even if the land was remade as you remember it... what happened cannot be truly undone or forgotten. Some mark would remain.
[The talk of a cost... It sounds like a war that no one could win. The summonings could not be undone. Maybe the only way to stop it at all was to shatter the whole star. He isn't sure, and they'll likely never know.]
Still, what you said was somewhat illuminating. And it was your truth, which I am not always privy to.
[If only he was bolder, he might give voice to the countless questions he has for the Ascian. He knows a lot about Ascians but there is just so, so much that Emet-Selch knows from observing, from meddling-- a living piece of history, an Allagan artifact in himself. But he cannot... cannot risk it. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
It's a few minutes before he actually expresses his thoughts, not just because he's unaccustomed to typing on this damn thing but because each word must be weighed and measured. Chosen carefully. What Emet did once he may yet do again, and... the memories are still very, very fresh. He still has marks.]
You are a very unusual Ascian, are you not? You regard us as lesser beings yet you are eager to point out that you have lived our lives, that you have experienced the same things that we have. At the very least, you would have known these things during the time of the ancients. You speak of the Warrior of Light as one would a friend.
For all your talk, I think you are no better than the mortals you so despise. That is to say-- and as much as I may hesitate to admit it-- you are, essentially, one of them. That does not erase the countless atrocities you have committed in pursuit of your goal, but it does make things... complicated.
I am not so proud that I will not admit what is plainly obvious before me. We are sinners both. We have given much to see our respective futures made reality-- and doomed ourselves in the process.
For what is the worth of a world without the ones we love in it? What becomes of us then?
Yet for all your words, all the common threads we supposedly share, I cannot set it all aside for the sake of an armistice. Try as I might, I cannot hope to match the Warrior's boundless generosity, tolerance and patience. Still I make the effort for their sake even though it is not deserved.
You tormented me. You stole me away to the bottom of the Tempest so that our friend would follow you as part of your plan. T'was only by the Warrior's timely arrival that I yet live, for you had no hesitation when it came to ripping me apart.
You showed me no mercy, and you used me as a pawn to make them suffer.
[The first part of the Exarch's message draws an anticipated ire, but not much in the way of surprise. To be compared to mortals was ever an insult, but it was an expected thing to hear from someone without the experience of eternity, without having lived in the world as it once was. Who was blind to the souls around them. Yes, he was quite similar to mortals in terms of emotion, he'd never denied that. His motivations were eminently comprehensible. But to reduce him to that....
But he doesn't try to argue the point. He'd asked for the Exarch's thoughts and received them, and they were something he would consider.
And then there was the rest.
...well. K'rihnn hadn't mentioned that, in his summary of events. There's a flash of annoyance at the omission, but it's not too hard for Emet-Selch to understand why he'd left it out. An attempt to protect the Exarch, to allow the Ascian to believe that he'd had little to do with events at the end, to avoid attracting further attentions. Even if he disapproved, Emet-Selch could understand, which made it easier to tolerate.
It's likewise some minutes before he replies. There are several times he begins writing something, then deletes it, dissatisfied.]
All things considered, you've been downright civil towards me, haven't you? I admire your restraint.
Thank you for your honesty.
[Emet-Selch felt no shred of guilt nor dismay at the knowledge that he'd apparently tortured the man in his future. He could easily believe it, was probably trying to extract information (and a part of him wondered if his future self had learned anything useful...).
But it did make things more complicated. The Exarch had an entirely comprehensible grudge against him, and the Ascian wasn't certain how it would manifest. That was slightly worrying. A man with mysterious powers, knowledge, and a personal vendetta against him? The Warriors' influence would probably prevent him from doing something too lethal, but--
Was it going to be safe to eat the food he left out....]
Still, that's useful to know. It sounds as though my hospitality directly led to my demise. If I can take this knowledge with me somehow, perhaps we can both avoid an unpleasant fate.
Love it when mobile eats my tag for no damn reason.
I am not easily angered, nor do I eagerly raise my hand against another. It is not in my nature for I believe all other avenues must be exhausted first. For these reasons and more, I have no intention of harming you.
But if you should wound the Warriors of Light and their companions, unlikely as that may be at this juncture, I will not hesitate to stop you. It is only right to make you aware of that fact.
[Something in him feels lighter for the telling. It was wrong to hold Emet accountable for things he hasn't done yet, so it feels... better... to make these thoughts clear. And to subtly explain why the Exarch doesn't simply tolerate him being around, but actively avoids him now. He's not scared but he is cautious.
Still... He wants to try to keep things fair and civil for the sake of the Warriors caught in the middle. And besides that, they're both on even ground for the first time. Their conflict has been shelved out of necessity.]
I fear that may be an impossibility, and not because you are fated to die.
If you can bring yourself to accept my assurance, I have no interest in attacking neither the Warrior nor their allies. They have shown me no ill will, and I have no reason not to maintain our current friendly ties.
I extend the same to you, Crystal Exarch. My future reasons are hardly relevant here, and harming you would aggravate those heroes to no good cause.
[Not that he expects the Exarch to go 'oh okay' and forget all that torturing business, but. He figured there was no harm in being clear about his intent.
The last part has him pause, trying to work out what the Exarch meant. Though there were a limited amount of options, and Emet-Selch could guess at a plausible scenario.
That explained what the Exarch had been doing in Kholusia to begin with, rather than lurking in his stolen Tower as normal. Assisting the Warrior with the Light after the hero failed to contain it- yes, that would be a reason for him to be there (though the Ascian was unsure how that would simply kill him, instead of just turning him into his own Lightwarden). And it was a reason for his future self to stop him, stealing the Exarch away while he was vulnerable.
[That's... unexpected. He's immediately suspicious but he can't say anything without looking like the asshole. And it does make sense, if he has a truce between himself and the Warriors.
... He'll remain cautious even so. While Emet might be telling the truth right now, he's capricious. He studied Ascians with the Students of Baldesion; Galuf would be judging him beyond the grave if he blindly accepted one.]
I had another reason. Suffice to say it was not a popular decision.
[He decides to not push the issue. If circumstances changed- well, he'd do whatever he had to. If that meant hurting the Exarch or any of the heroes, he would. Emet-Selch had no particular interest in it, but neither would he hesitate. He'd lived too long to question himself now.
Still, he did prefer to hope it wouldn't come to that.]
I can imagine they were quite cross. Letting their friends die, whatever the reason, is not something I can see them doing quietly.
[It was a terrible, inexorable answer. The death of his world, his people left sleeping in Zodiark's darkness. Would the remains of his god be rooted out and smote as well?
He couldn't even muster up the energy to be angry about it; there was only a dull grief for what was lost.]
Which particular things...?
Could my conflict with the Warrior have been avoided? ...Mayhaps not. We would have to go back quite far. Before the events in Kholusia. Before my first meeting with the hero. Before their first encounter with any Ascian. Before the first Calamity.
Before the world was sundered. Before Zodiark's creation. When did events tip into inevitability?
[They can't help what they are, either. It's all just-- a waste. But that's war. Just because a battle is won doesn't erase the lives lost. The grief caused.
He sees it written on the Warrior's face when Emet-Selch is discussed.]
... Change is not impossible. I cannot-- I will not believe otherwise. To do so would betray all who placed their faith in me.
But in the end, this does not fall to me. It begins with you.
The change you ask requires my giving up on everything I hold dear. Abandoning them. Naturally, I realize that I'm asking the same thing of all of you.
[Even if Emet-Selch viewed it as short-sighted and borne of ignorance, it was comprehensible. That was part of why it was so frustrating. They weren't doing it out of spite, or cruelty, or even indifference. They all cared. Everyone cared too damn much, that was the problem.]
I can't say I'm optimistic of our chances.
...Well, I would have believed it impossible to be dragged into a place like this against my will, so who knows? Some miracle may yet occur. Perhaps there's some third option none of us have considered. Perhaps this will be the first time in thousands upon thousands of years that you mortals won't disappoint me.
[Emet-Selch isn't the only one fighting for a world only he remembers. The difference is that the Exarch wants to prevent it from coming about. The past isn't a good place to live in, even for immortals.]
Our friends are very tenacious. We may both be surprised.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He has a lot to glean from that. It may not be the whole truth, but it is the truth as Emet-Selch sees it. That's still valuable.]
... So even a god could not reverse what happened. It may have been that the only way to secure a second chance, to bring life back to the star, was to begin again.
You answered my questions. Do you still wish to know my thoughts?
Fair is fair.
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[A truth he yet can't accept in the present day.]
Zodiark renewed the world, ensured life could take root again upon it. The price was high but- as with His creation, what choice did we have?
And for His mercy, He was struck down. Before He could restore the lives freely given, those that deserved to share in that mercy-
But then Hydaelyn came. I assume you know the rest.
[Normally he'd leave out the last, but. He had promised to try and be thorough. And he expects the Exarch to know the truth anyway.]
And still yes, if you're willing to share them. It'll be a rare treat.
1/2
[The talk of a cost... It sounds like a war that no one could win. The summonings could not be undone. Maybe the only way to stop it at all was to shatter the whole star. He isn't sure, and they'll likely never know.]
Still, what you said was somewhat illuminating. And it was your truth, which I am not always privy to.
[If only he was bolder, he might give voice to the countless questions he has for the Ascian. He knows a lot about Ascians but there is just so, so much that Emet-Selch knows from observing, from meddling-- a living piece of history, an Allagan artifact in himself. But he cannot... cannot risk it. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
It's a few minutes before he actually expresses his thoughts, not just because he's unaccustomed to typing on this damn thing but because each word must be weighed and measured. Chosen carefully. What Emet did once he may yet do again, and... the memories are still very, very fresh. He still has marks.]
You are a very unusual Ascian, are you not? You regard us as lesser beings yet you are eager to point out that you have lived our lives, that you have experienced the same things that we have. At the very least, you would have known these things during the time of the ancients. You speak of the Warrior of Light as one would a friend.
For all your talk, I think you are no better than the mortals you so despise. That is to say-- and as much as I may hesitate to admit it-- you are, essentially, one of them. That does not erase the countless atrocities you have committed in pursuit of your goal, but it does make things... complicated.
I am not so proud that I will not admit what is plainly obvious before me. We are sinners both. We have given much to see our respective futures made reality-- and doomed ourselves in the process.
For what is the worth of a world without the ones we love in it? What becomes of us then?
no subject
You tormented me. You stole me away to the bottom of the Tempest so that our friend would follow you as part of your plan. T'was only by the Warrior's timely arrival that I yet live, for you had no hesitation when it came to ripping me apart.
You showed me no mercy, and you used me as a pawn to make them suffer.
I will remember that.
no subject
But he doesn't try to argue the point. He'd asked for the Exarch's thoughts and received them, and they were something he would consider.
And then there was the rest.
...well. K'rihnn hadn't mentioned that, in his summary of events. There's a flash of annoyance at the omission, but it's not too hard for Emet-Selch to understand why he'd left it out. An attempt to protect the Exarch, to allow the Ascian to believe that he'd had little to do with events at the end, to avoid attracting further attentions. Even if he disapproved, Emet-Selch could understand, which made it easier to tolerate.
It's likewise some minutes before he replies. There are several times he begins writing something, then deletes it, dissatisfied.]
All things considered, you've been downright civil towards me, haven't you? I admire your restraint.
Thank you for your honesty.
[Emet-Selch felt no shred of guilt nor dismay at the knowledge that he'd apparently tortured the man in his future. He could easily believe it, was probably trying to extract information (and a part of him wondered if his future self had learned anything useful...).
But it did make things more complicated. The Exarch had an entirely comprehensible grudge against him, and the Ascian wasn't certain how it would manifest. That was slightly worrying. A man with mysterious powers, knowledge, and a personal vendetta against him? The Warriors' influence would probably prevent him from doing something too lethal, but--
Was it going to be safe to eat the food he left out....]
Still, that's useful to know. It sounds as though my hospitality directly led to my demise. If I can take this knowledge with me somehow, perhaps we can both avoid an unpleasant fate.
Love it when mobile eats my tag for no damn reason.
But if you should wound the Warriors of Light and their companions, unlikely as that may be at this juncture, I will not hesitate to stop you. It is only right to make you aware of that fact.
[Something in him feels lighter for the telling. It was wrong to hold Emet accountable for things he hasn't done yet, so it feels... better... to make these thoughts clear. And to subtly explain why the Exarch doesn't simply tolerate him being around, but actively avoids him now. He's not scared but he is cautious.
Still... He wants to try to keep things fair and civil for the sake of the Warriors caught in the middle. And besides that, they're both on even ground for the first time. Their conflict has been shelved out of necessity.]
I fear that may be an impossibility, and not because you are fated to die.
It was my intention to, in Kholusia.
no subject
I extend the same to you, Crystal Exarch. My future reasons are hardly relevant here, and harming you would aggravate those heroes to no good cause.
[Not that he expects the Exarch to go 'oh okay' and forget all that torturing business, but. He figured there was no harm in being clear about his intent.
The last part has him pause, trying to work out what the Exarch meant. Though there were a limited amount of options, and Emet-Selch could guess at a plausible scenario.
That explained what the Exarch had been doing in Kholusia to begin with, rather than lurking in his stolen Tower as normal. Assisting the Warrior with the Light after the hero failed to contain it- yes, that would be a reason for him to be there (though the Ascian was unsure how that would simply kill him, instead of just turning him into his own Lightwarden). And it was a reason for his future self to stop him, stealing the Exarch away while he was vulnerable.
Something like that, anyway.]
So eager to martyr yourself for them...?
no subject
[That's... unexpected. He's immediately suspicious but he can't say anything without looking like the asshole. And it does make sense, if he has a truce between himself and the Warriors.
... He'll remain cautious even so. While Emet might be telling the truth right now, he's capricious. He studied Ascians with the Students of Baldesion; Galuf would be judging him beyond the grave if he blindly accepted one.]
I had another reason. Suffice to say it was not a popular decision.
no subject
Still, he did prefer to hope it wouldn't come to that.]
I can imagine they were quite cross. Letting their friends die, whatever the reason, is not something I can see them doing quietly.
[Such noble, good, misguided people.]
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They shall always fight to see their friends and their world through whatever terrible shadow is cast upon it. That... is their 'answer'.
Do you believe things could have been different?
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He couldn't even muster up the energy to be angry about it; there was only a dull grief for what was lost.]
Which particular things...?
Could my conflict with the Warrior have been avoided? ...Mayhaps not. We would have to go back quite far. Before the events in Kholusia. Before my first meeting with the hero. Before their first encounter with any Ascian. Before the first Calamity.
Before the world was sundered. Before Zodiark's creation. When did events tip into inevitability?
So... I do not know.
Do you believe things can change now?
no subject
He sees it written on the Warrior's face when Emet-Selch is discussed.]
... Change is not impossible. I cannot-- I will not believe otherwise. To do so would betray all who placed their faith in me.
But in the end, this does not fall to me. It begins with you.
no subject
[Even if Emet-Selch viewed it as short-sighted and borne of ignorance, it was comprehensible. That was part of why it was so frustrating. They weren't doing it out of spite, or cruelty, or even indifference. They all cared. Everyone cared too damn much, that was the problem.]
I can't say I'm optimistic of our chances.
...Well, I would have believed it impossible to be dragged into a place like this against my will, so who knows? Some miracle may yet occur. Perhaps there's some third option none of us have considered. Perhaps this will be the first time in thousands upon thousands of years that you mortals won't disappoint me.
[But he doubted it.]
no subject
Our friends are very tenacious. We may both be surprised.